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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29817573">The Silent Sounds of Shackled Hearts</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentsymphonies/pseuds/silentsymphonies'>silentsymphonies</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Inspired by Studio Ghibli, Levi Ackerman is Bad at Feelings, Levi Ackerman is in Denial, Magic, Slow Burn, Wizard Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:29:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>41,562</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29817573</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentsymphonies/pseuds/silentsymphonies</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In order to become well versed in magic, one must give up their heart. </p><p>Despite the high payment that comes with dedicating your life to the service of the king, many turn away from the profession in scorn, fearing those with emptiness in their chests that perform the necessary evils to keep your society safe and thinking them soulless killing machines.  </p><p>When your sister falls ill, your scarce resources force you to approach the mysterious wizard living on the outskirts of town and beg him to take you on as an apprentice, no matter the cost. </p><p>*story idea inspired by Howl's Moving Castle</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Levi Ackerman &amp; Reader, Levi Ackerman/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>82</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. An Unwanted Introduction</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Though this story is told from your point of view, "Viola" will be used instead of "Y/N" and Reader will be used in place of "L/N" so you can substitute accordingly it if bothers you!<br/>-</p><p>Kiss someone<br/>who makes you<br/>feel their magic<br/>in your bones,<br/>who makes you wonder<br/>how can someone<br/>who looks like<br/>witchcraft<br/>at midnight<br/>taste so holy.<br/>- Nikita Gill</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I will never forgive you if you do.”</p><p>Your sister looked at you, tears welling in her eyes before falling down her face. She clutched her blanket to her chest, staring at you with pleading eyes.</p><p>Her efforts were wasted. Her increasingly pale complexion, fainting spells, and fevers were more convincing than any tears could be.</p><p>“I promise you I will write,” you reassured, hands never pausing in packing your bags. A few dresses that weren’t completely frayed at the ends, the two pairs of shoes you owned, comfortable clothes to sleep in. They would probably provide the rest. </p><p>There was no time to waste, every second counted and you were done waiting for things to get better. You had made up your mind, pushing your fears back and forcing your body to adhere to the plan.</p><p>
  <em> My cloak. I will need my cloak as well. </em>
</p><p>Ivy looked at you from her bed, the same one she had been unable to leave for the past three months now. What had started with a small fever, easily dismissed as a stray virus caught from someone at the seamstress shop she worked at rapidly evolved into something more sinister. </p><p>The headaches came first. Debilitating her already fragile frame, causing her small feet to stumble as she walked. Soon enough, she couldn’t stand at all, needing the support to hold her own weight up as her muscles spasmed with unwelcome pains. </p><p>A rasp, dry cough had followed which rattled her body with every sharp exhale of breath. Her formerly bright voice was now strained, a sound resembling an old woman instead of the teenager she was. </p><p>Writing for the daily newspaper wasn’t bringing home enough money to treat her, and you had no parents to speak of so it was all up to you now. You knew there was only one alternative left to raise enough money to save her on time and you couldn’t hesitate. You wouldn’t dare. </p><p>You were going to offer up the one thing you had left: your heart. </p><p>The laws of your kingdom were clear. Anybody who dedicated themselves to giving up their hearts, filling the void with magic instead to fight for the king would be generously compensated. The war had taken the lives of many and they were in desperate need of fighters. One wizard was worth a hundred soldiers, after all. </p><p>Any wizard still in need of an apprentice was forced to take on applicants and pay them a stipend as they learned by order of the king. This had been recently announced to further encourage young people to enlist and you happened to know where such a wizard resided. You planned to use the stipend to help your sister get the help she needed while you slaved away, it was the least you could do for her. </p><p>Half a day’s carriage ride away, near the magic quarter where apothecaries and alchemists honed their craft was a building no one dared approach. The large house rested upon a hill a short walk from the gate, its dark shutters hiding the restless pacing of a man people feared for his power, and what it represented. </p><p>Though he had resided in your city for an unmeasured number of years, few could prove to have seen his face. Those who had bragged about it endlessly, citing how they had barely escaped getting their heart eaten. </p><p>Your city was divided into four sections, all equally large though the buildings inside them were disproportionate. Whereas prosperous areas had large houses and parks, those beneath them held far too many people, everyone crowded into the small spaces they could find. </p><p>The Magic quarter was the most affluent part, housing all the people of the craft who dedicated their lives to the secret arts, granting services few could afford. They were all in service to the king though would also create potions and spells for those who could spare the coin. </p><p>The second most prosperous area was the trading district. It had banks, high-end stores, and jewelry makers within it. Only the rich could afford to shop there for their prices were astronomical and their contents unnecessary to daily life survival. </p><p>The food quarter and working district were on the lower end of the scale, vastly populated, and often dangerous from the struggle to find a place. </p><p>Whereas wealthy residents bought their food in the trading district, everybody else purchased their necessary nourishment from the food quarter. It had bakeries specialized in bread that would fill your stomach rather than cakes to decorate a table with. Fruit and Vegetable vendors were all local farmers trying to make ends meet from the crops they could grow on the unfertile soil nearby. This created a visible difference between citizens, wealthy ones sporting a healthy glow while the rest of you looked on with pale, sickly skin. </p><p>Your sister and you both lived and worked in the working district where she excelled as a seamstress apprentice, hoping to one day learn enough to work in a better district. You were a writer for the daily newspaper, your main job consisting of informative columns to let everybody know about the newest developments of the war. You had accepted the job in hopes that you could someday be an independent writer; someday your hands would write stories of love and freedom instead of despair.</p><p>Or at least they would have if you had been able to stay and finish learning. </p><p>Your small, shattered dream was still held loosely in your chest, craving to be released despite the certainty that it would never be. You were to become a witch now, not a novelist. Your hands would write only spells in the future, as far as you knew at least, knowledge about magic was limited to a privileged few.  </p><p>It was a bit unclear how it all worked, only those choosing to take the leap of faith could learn the secrets of witchcraft. All you knew was that it meant putting your life in someone else’s hand, letting them control your body as long as they held your heart. It wasn’t a figure of speech, dedicating your heart meant you would literally give it to them, allowing them to control you as they wished, forcing you to do their will. </p><p>What was pleasantly beating in your chest right now, pumping blood and keeping you warm would soon be a weapon used against you. The comfortable feeling in your bosom that fluttered when seeing your sister happy, that hurt when seeing others in pain, it would soon cease to be. </p><p>
  <em> But it’s the only option we have. </em>
</p><p>The people of the craft were required to fight anytime the king deemed them necessary. Upon being summoned, a letter would arrive at their quarters assigning them their next task, one they couldn’t turn down no matter how hard they’d wish lest they forfeit their lives. If the orders were ignored, their hearts would be crushed to dust, extinguishing their flame. </p><p>Jobs could vary in importance and difficulty. Some were lucky, sometimes all that was required of them was making a potion for a sick noble or a love potion for a young lady seeking a suitor. Others who drew the short stick were sent off to war, using their power to take lives instead of preserving them. With the escalating conflict that looked like it was sadly here to stay, sending your crafters off to war was becoming the most common occurrence. </p><p>Many chose death over eternal servitude, regretting their decision to give up a normal life as the years went by. After all, a heartless being could not age. They were stuck in the same state they had offered themselves up in, a constant as the world around them moved on. Once their families passed away, many would rather chase after them than remain. Behind you, the sound of the only family you had left was calling to you. </p><p>“Viola… please?”</p><p>You turn your gaze to the small lump on the bed looking up at you with tired, brown eyes. If she had been able to stand, she would have begged you to stay on her knees, you know. But you couldn’t allow it. You would not permit your fear or pride to take away her life. She was all you had left in this world and nothing would keep you from giving it your all to keep her safe. If you needed to give your body to this cursed war to cure hers, so be it. </p><p>Walking up to her to kneel by the bedside, you cradle her face with one hand and give her a kiss on the forehead.</p><p>“I am sorry, Ivy, but you know you can’t change my mind. Mira will be here soon, she agreed to take care of you in my absence.”</p><p>You had been lucky for that, not many had the kindness in their heart to look after the sickly while surrounded in their own despair. People on the streets were getting desperate, eating their pets, killing each other for scraps. Soldiers were too busy keeping the enemy out to regulate the peace within your walls. </p><p>Poverty had stricken the kingdom since the start of the war and famine was an ever-approaching concern in the people’s minds. You were thankful your combined incomes until now had kept you safe from that.</p><p>Though your circumstances were not the best, you were still better off than most. You could always count on having food on your table, even if it was watered-down potato soup and pine leaf tea. Your home may be small, but it had all the comforts you could ask for, a ceiling above your head, a fireplace to keep you warm. </p><p>Giving your sister one last hug, you stood up and fastened your cloak, making sure the parchment containing the royal decree was safely held in its pocket. It was a beautiful deep red and the nicest item you owned. Ivy had made it for you during her apprenticeship exams and gifted it a few winters back. You had scolded her at first, such a nice garment would fetch a high price, but now you were glad for the small token of home. It would be something to remember her by while you were away as it kept you warm during the cold wintry nights. </p><p>“I love you, Ivy. Please be safe and hold on. I will have your medicine soon,” you whisper, terrified that saying anything else will make you change your mind. The fear in your heart had its days numbered, after all. Holding your hand up to feel its beating, trying to preserve the feeling for as long as you could, you picked up your bag. </p><p>Once you stepped out the door into the fog, walking up to the carriage you had paid for with this week’s paycheck, you didn’t look back. </p><p>-</p><p>Levi had been enjoying his usual cup of tea before bed, finally relaxing from a long day of work when he heard it. </p><p>
  <em> Knock. Knock. Knock </em>
</p><p>Eyebrows furrowing in annoyance, he ignored the sound, waiting for his trainee, Eren, to open the door. He never entertained visitors, less so at night. Whoever the poor idiot freezing outside was, they surely must be lost and he wasn’t about to waste his time orienting them. </p><p>Picking up his cup by the edges and careful not to spill a drop on his recently cleaned floors, he took a sip, savoring the brew. Having no heart meant it was hard to stay warm, so he drank tea whenever he could to chase the feeling. It was one of the few comforts he still allowed himself. </p><p>It had been hard getting used to the feeling at first. Though he knew his body was cold, he did not feel the pain. He knew this was because of the magic coursing through his veins. It was almost like his skin was frozen in the same way his ability to age was. He had stopped looking in the mirror years ago, tired of seeing the same tired eyes looking back at him in regret. </p><p>People often avoided getting close to those who had been touched by magic, fearing the icy-ness would transfer into their soul, that their hearts would cease to beat as well. As if this curse was something that could be passed down. </p><p>It was never that easy. Many had tried to break the curse and none had succeeded. If anything, their attempts had made their situation worse. </p><p>Levi had long given up the idea of a normal life away from the war. He was an esteemed soldier and he doubted the king would let him retire anytime soon. After all, he had been in his service, and that of his father before him as well. Once the bastard died, he would probably be indentured to serve under the princess Historia as well. It was unheard of a noble letting go of a wizard’s heart, let alone a king. They were simply too valuable to lose. </p><p>
  <em> Knock. Knock. Knock. </em>
</p><p>“Oi, Eren, where the hell are you?” he called out, wishing his apprentice would do his job for once.  </p><p>He had spent an entire day working listening to rich bastards go on and on about how he and the others should be doing a better job of dying to protect their wealth and was feeling drained. He could never take their shitty babbling for too long, Levi hated politics. </p><p>If he had to choose, despite his hatred towards violence, he would rather be out in the field, feeling the power surge through his hands as he fought for other’s freedom instead of in a musty room filled with senile old men with too much money and too little brain. Levi knew he was forever chained to his destiny, but that didn’t mean others had to be as well. </p><p>
  <em> Knock. Knock. Knock. </em>
</p><p>Though he had called out loudly enough to wake the dead, there was no response from the young man. Knowing the brat, he was probably sleeping already, passed out somewhere on the second floor of the house, drooling into his freshly washed sheets. He had been having trouble with a new spell today and was probably exhausted as well. </p><p>
  <em> Knock. Knock. Knock. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You have got to be kidding me. </em>
</p><p>Putting his cup down delicately, Levi stood up, grunting as he walked towards the door and hoping whoever was outside was dying or they sure as hell would be soon from interrupting him. </p><p>He waved his hand at the wood, undoing the simple lock spell and grabbing the handle to open it. A small fist almost hit his face as he did, the person outside already in the middle of knocking again already.</p><p>
  <em> Fucking impatient. </em>
</p><p>“Oh. You must be Eren? I heard from Alchemist Farlan that your master had space for another apprentice! I’ve come to take the spot. Kindly let him know I am here if you can?”</p><p>You had probably mistaken him for the brat without his ornamental cape on, something that profoundly irritated him despite the honest mistake. </p><p>Court wizards would heavy decorative capes of various colors over their shoulders to announce their status. His currently hung from the rack behind the door, being too burdensome to wear at home. He only wore it when out on official business, its bulky weight limiting his movements. Levi didn’t care for titles much, but he also would rather not be mistaken with the brat that could barely conjure wine. </p><p>Taking a step back, the man lifted an eyebrow at you as he looked you over, mildly curious over your intrusion. </p><p>You were a young woman with a tired-looking face, probably a day worker from the lower quarter from the looks of it, it didn’t look like you were a part of the craft yet based on the way you shivered, body still accustomed to feeling warmth. Your ink-stained fingers were wrapped around a large bag, your body covered by a thick red cloak that looked to be above your pay grade. </p><p>“And who says I want to take on another apprentice?” He said, subtly correcting your earlier blunder.</p><p>As your mistaken impression of who he was clarified, Levi noticed you had the decency to blush. </p><p>You hadn’t expected the wizard himself to open the door, they were famously proud people, getting others to do things for them as much as they could. Besides, the man standing in front of you now did not fit the fearsome descriptions those who had met him gave. Where was the impressive height that made him tower over even the strongest soldier? The fearful eyes that could make a knight tremble in dread? </p><p>“I am sorry sir, I wasn’t aware of your title,” you said with a practiced bow, making Levi snort.</p><p>“Save the courtesy for someone who cares.”</p><p>He was bored of this now, ready to close the door on your face and go back to the tea that was surely getting cold now when you stuck your arm out, stopping its trajectory with it and wincing in pain as the heavy wood bounced off your skin. That was sure to leave a mark. </p><p>“Oi, are you stupid or something? What the hell are you doing, leave me alone. Who the hell stops a door with their arm?”</p><p>Whatever right you believed you had to his time, Levi wanted no part in it. He would rather not condemn anyone else to his lifestyle if he could help it. Especially not someone as young-looking at you, a person who probably had a whole life ahead of them. </p><p>Hell, the only reason he had taken Eren in was that he had been touched by magic already, his father having passed on the profession at a young age. The man had been doomed from the start, the least he could do was make sure he was properly trained. </p><p>Unruffled by his words, you took out the folded parchment from your pocket and handed it to him, making him narrow his eyes in scorn, he had a good idea what that paper would say. He had seen plenty like it before, but no one had dared approach him with one. It had the distinctive golden sheen indicating its origin from the king. </p><p>
  <em> Fucking nobles and their shitty laws.  </em>
</p><p>“You have space for an apprentice, every wizard must have two, and I am taking that spot. I didn’t come here meaning to ask, I came here to let you know. I have my things packed with me already and am ready to dedicate my heart.” The last part sounded less convincing than the first.</p><p>He scoffed in annoyance, of course, you would know about that stupid law that good for nothing Reiss had passed. He had been itching to get some new fodder for his stupid war. Always fighting over one thing or the other, it didn’t matter to him. Kings would always find an excuse to sacrifice others in their stead. </p><p>He was hoping to get away with turning a second apprentice down but would rather not turn into dust, melt into a puddle of dirty water, or whatever it was his kind did when they died from disobedience. You looked sure of what you wanted as well, not that you knew what you were in for. You couldn’t be, no one was. </p><p>A memory of his own enlisting made him clench his hands in anger. He had been forced into this lifestyle, sold off like a piece of meat. Levi had never been given the chance to do anything else. He had never dared to dream because he knew it wouldn’t be allowed and here you were, begging him to take that freedom away. </p><p>He would rather not inflict that injustice upon you. Had he not been a puppet unfairly dancing on the strings of another, more powerful man, he would have asked you to leave, dragged you away, and told you to never come back. There were many other professions you could try your hand at, none of which involved a life of enslavement.  </p><p>Behind him, the sound of footsteps indicated Eren was finally coming down the stairs, messy brown hair sticking out in random directions from the nap he had clearly been taking as he rubbed his tired green eyes. The bastard had gotten tall over the past few years, towering over Levi and most other people now. He hated it when that happened, reminding him of his own short stature. Not that it mattered in the end, it was his power that others respected. </p><p>“Do we have visitors, sir? I heard a sou-” he froze at the sight of you standing in the doorway. They never had guests with them, let alone the female kind. It had been months since Eren saw any face other than Levi’s or another trainee’s. Clearing his throat, he smoothed down his long hair as best as he could, unable to style it in his usual bun without a hairband, and straightened his back as he walked towards you. </p><p>“Hello, I wasn’t aware we had guests! I’m Eren. Eren Yeager.”</p><p>This was the last thing he needed. If Eren had stayed upstairs, he could have tried and lied as a last resort to turn you away, saying he had taken another apprentice earlier today, but the brat was a shitty liar and would expose him in a heartbeat. Simply put, Levi had no alternative but to take you in now. </p><p>It looked like he would have to entertain your request for now. Turning towards you, he noticed you hadn’t answered Eren yet.</p><p>“What’s your name, brat?” </p><p>Thankful for the interruption the real Eren had brought, you placed r heavy bag down, lowering your hood so they could see your face. Your hair was wild and unruly from walking up the hill to his house in the wind, cheeks flushed despite the cold and eyes bright with excitement and something resembling fear. </p><p>“My name is Viola, Viola Reader.”</p><p>
  <em> Viola. How quaint. </em>
</p><p>Eren looked at you before answering.</p><p>“Hey there, Viola. Was there something you needed? We don’t usually take requests from the townsfolk at this time unless it’s an emergency. Are you in need of a spell?” Levi rolled his eyes. It was a little too late for that, if only he had been awake to shrug you away earlier. </p><p>He couldn’t blame him for thinking you were a customer though, Eren had failed to hear your earlier exchange. </p><p>“Actually, I’m here for the other apprentice position. I heard about you both from Farlan. Would you mind if I stepped inside? It’s horribly cold out here.”</p><p>Noticing the heavy bag for the first time, Eren walked up to you, picking it up and letting you in while Levi watched. He hadn’t said you were permitted to come in, not that it would change a thing. He was tied to the stupid vow, if you wanted to stay, you were allowed. Eren had probably known this as well and hadn’t tried to argue. He had been expecting the remaining spot to be filled eventually and was excited to have someone else to share the burden with. </p><p>Levi watched as you walked inside, aware of the headache your presence would represent soon. Not only would he have to do his work and train Eren, but he would have to start teaching you as well soon. This would probably take up what little free time he had, making him groan in defeat.</p><p>“Eren, prepare the spare room. It looks like you have some competition.”</p><p>-</p><p>That did not go as you expected.</p><p>You were following Eren up the stairs to your room, trying to take in as much as you could on your way there to get used to your new home. The bottom floor had contained a small kitchen and living room, a large fireplace merrily crackling away. </p><p>The walls were filled to the brim with odd-looking trinkets, neatly organized in differently sized shelves. Books laid everywhere, colorful covers and gold letters looking at you from every available surface. Jars with various plants and herbs were scattered every here and there. Despite the large size of the room, everything looked pristine. </p><p>“Thank you for escorting me, Eren,” you voiced. Though you knew the wizard was not happy to have you here, at least you could try to get along with the young man in front of you. After all, you were to be training together from now on.</p><p>Eren glanced at you over his shoulder, a hint of a smile appearing on his face as he nodded.</p><p>“It’s not a problem. It will be nice to have some company, the house gets lonely sometimes. Besides, at least I won’t be in charge of all the chores now.”</p><p>He climbed the stairs, two at a time with his long legs, making you hurry after him and leading you into a corridor that forked into two sides. Turning around to wait for you to catch up, he pointed towards the left.</p><p>“That way is where your room and mine are. The door to the right is free, so you can take it. Feel free to redecorate as you wish. The one in front of it is my bedroom. Knock anytime you need something. You get your own bathroom but there is another one down the hall if you ever need it. The right corridor leads to Master Ackerman’s room and his study. I wouldn’t go there unless uninvited, if you value your life, of course.”</p><p>You weren’t entirely sure if this was a joke, so you made a note to heed his advice in the future. </p><p>“Did I catch him in a bad mood, by the way? Or is he that opposed to taking on another apprentice? He was more opposed to it than I thought he’d be, it is his duty and all.”</p><p>Eren stood outside the door to your room, looking at you curiously before turning the door and stepping in. He spoke as he took out a key that likely belonged to you now.</p><p>“Master Levi… is not like other wizards. He is not particularly attached to this lifestyle and sees it as a curse. He is not happy to make others walk the same path but knows he has to at the same time. Don’t worry too much about it, he’ll come around eventually. Don’t expect any heart to hearts though, that is not his style.”</p><p>You nodded, that seemed obvious enough from his attitude. </p><p>The room was larger than yours had been back home. A large bed, big enough for two stood in the center with a small night table and empty shelf next to it. The opposite corner had a study desk with parchment and quills on top, a door beside it presumably leading towards your bathroom, a luxury you were unused to. </p><p>You and your sister had used a common outhouse near your home that other residents around the area had access to. Baths were always taken near your fireplace, using an old bathtub you had managed to rescue from the streets one day. It almost made you guilty, knowing you were already experiencing the extravagance that a life of magic entailed while your sister suffered at home. </p><p>“Breakfast is at eight sharp, don’t be late. Master Levi has to leave by noon to attend to business most days so he will let us know our tasks for the day then. Hands-on trainings are on the weekends when he has some more time off, we will probably be doing those together so you better get used to me.”</p><p>Eren was leaning against your bedpost, smiling as he said that. Making friends must come easy to him from the ease he communicated to you with. Lifting his hand, he showed you the door to your room and placed it on your night table.</p><p>“That is the only key, so no one will be coming in here asides from you. Unless, of course, you decide to invite us in,” he said with a smile, one eyebrow lifted as he messed with you. </p><p>
  <em> Maybe too friendly.  </em>
</p><p>“I doubt I will be in need of company anytime soon, but I appreciate your kindness, thank you for showing me to my room, Eren.” You say this with a smile, even as your tired body wishes he would step out already and let you sleep. Mornings are rough for you and waking up early is not something you are looking forward to. </p><p>Eren is unshaken by your reaction, simply shrugging before walking to your door. You could have been nicer to him, he was probably just tired of having no one else to talk to, but you are still too on edge to worry about offending others. You have no idea what is going to happen next and it’s scaring you, shivers from fear replacing those from the cold. </p><p>Once the sound of the door closing echoes in the room, you take off your cloak, hanging it lovingly from the hook on the wall and running your fingers through the fine fabric before facing your room. Your bed is made with a fluffy-looking blanket you are guiltily looking forward to crawling under. Your bag is now next to it by the floor, the only reassuringly familiar sight around. </p><p>Taking off your clothes and stretching your travel-weary muscles, you walk towards the balcony in your room, stepping outside to gaze at the full moon above. Somewhere, many hours away, your sister lies under the same sky. It is this comforting thought that makes your home feel less far away in this unfamiliar place. Perhaps the stars are watching over her as she sleeps. You hope she is more at peace than you.</p><p>In the silence, you can feel the thumping of your fearful heart. It's rapid fluttering in your chest makes you feel that it knows what’s coming, the separation you will endure soon. If it could speak, would it be cursing you now? Mocking you for your foolishness? Begging you to change your mind? To let it experience all that it had yet to feel?</p><p>Placing your hand in your heart, you listened to its uneven tempo, wordlessly apologizing and enjoying its few remaining beats. That night, despite your exhaustion, you were unable to sleep. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A Whisper of Magic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>First impressions are not always what they seem.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>You are awakened by the unfamiliar sound of knocking on your door, lifting your head from your tear-stained pillow to croak out a response.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A vaguely familiar voice answered, Eren, presumably.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s time for breakfast. I recommend you come down soon unless you want the Master to be mad at you, it’s a bit too soon for that, I’d say.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a sigh, you pushed yourself off the bed, your body weary from the previous journey still. You look around the room and remember where you are, what you have promised yourself to do for the sake of your sister.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, Eren. I will be right down.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sound of receding footsteps told you he would not wait for you, and for that you were glad. You didn’t need a babysitter. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Making your way to your closet, you pick out a simple blue dress. It reached down to your ankles and would be what you usually wore on your day-to-day back in the working district. It is a peasant’s dress, but that doesn’t matter anymore, you have no one to impress. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You put on your comfiest shoes, expecting to be on your feet for most of the day, and wash your face in a basin before heading downstairs, running a hand through the tangles in your hair as you do, too sleepy still to do anything else with the unruly locks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The welcoming smell of fried eggs and bacon invade your nose as you head down, making your stomach grumble. You hadn’t had such food in years. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It makes you excited for the delicious meal and guilty that others are having watered soup instead at the same time. It is a stark contrast to the breakfasts you are used to, eggs were a luxury only merchants could allow themselves let alone bacon which was saved for the most important of occasions. You had only tried it once before during a christmas banquet your boss organized a few years past. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Morning,” you call out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren is seated at the table, a plate already in front of him while Levi drinks a cup of tea. A plate meant for you is laid in between them both with a steaming cup meant for yourself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Morning,” answers Eren.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi doesn’t look up, but still calls out to you. “Next time you are late you will get no breakfast, brat.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You roll your eyes at him, it took you barely five minutes to get downstairs, but you will not argue with him. It’s his rules while you are here and you would rather not get on his bad side even more than you already have.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dragging the heavy wooden chair back, you take a seat and start eating your breakfast. The eggs are fluffy and perfectly cooked, salted even. The bacon is even better, crispy and savory in your mouth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You can’t help yourself from taking a satisfied sigh at both the food and the tea, you have to admit they are not only delicious but also clearly high quality. It must cost a fortune to have food like this everyday, not that it would present a problem for a household of crafters, wizards got the best of the best thanks to their loyalty to the king and their usefulness. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Losing a bit of your composure, you shovel the food into your mouth, causing Eren to snort.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hungry, aren’t we?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You shrug, choosing not to answer. Levi mentioned he took him in at an early age, so he probably doesn’t understand what it means to go hungry, especially if his father was a wizard as well. Instead, you turn to Levi, curious as to what your first day will look like.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So… when do we start? What are our assignments for the day.”</span>
  <span>He glances at you from above his teacup, lifting one eyebrow in mild curiosity.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tch. Impatient little brat. Eren will show you your chores for the day. You better do a good job.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course, sir! I will gladly dedicate my hea-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“-Oi, stop that. I am not the fucking king, I don’t care about any of that shitty spiel. Just do your job… and don’t leave the house.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You sigh in relief, at least you don’t have to pretend to be excited around them, you are not looking forward to having your heart ripped out of your chest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It interests you that he intends to keep you both locked inside, but that is probably for safety reasons, who knows how dangerous magic can be to others when in practice. A wizard apprentice surely engages in various activities that can easily harm others, a stray spell or poorly mixed potion could be disastrous. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beside you, Eren stands up, having finished his meal, and offers up his hand to take yours as well which you happily oblige to, murmuring thanks as you hand him your now empty plate and cup. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi stands up, walking towards the front door, not having bothered to eat any food. He adjusts the cravat around his neck and looks at himself in a small mirror in the wall, making sure his hair is neat enough. He notices your eyes on him from the reflection but chooses to ignore you. Instead, he picks up a beautiful burgundy cape with the emblem of your kingdom. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Embroidered on the front is a fallen star enclosed in a heart. The cape is heavy and clearly meant to represent his status as well as power. He carefully fastens it over his shoulders, letting it fall gracefully over his frame. It makes his sharp eyes stand out even more. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m leaving early today to meet with Master Erwin. Eren, show her around, make sure she doesn’t break anything. Make sure everything is ready by the time I get back.” He looks at you briefly over his shoulder before continuing, “brat, make sure not to make any trouble while I’m gone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren approaches him, handing him a nondescript bag. “Is there anything I should practice today, Master?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi looks at you once more, eyes narrowing before answering. “Not today, I may be back before nightfall, we can pick up your training then. For now just keep an eye on her. I don’t trust her yet.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He walks out, the door closing behind him without any further thoughts. You can’t blame him for his words, having barged into his life only the prior night and practically demanding he take you in. In his eyes, you are nothing with a stranger with undisclosed reasons for tampering with magic. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You are about to ask what you are supposed to do when Eren taps your shoulder, making you turn around. Would you be learning new and mysterious things today? Perhaps how to breathe underwater? Maybe something easier like how to cure a headache from herbs from the garden? How about levitating?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instead, you are handed a broom and a handkerchief, Eren wearing one of his own over his mouth already making the questions die on your throat. He turns around without a word, starting to clean the area around you and pointing at you to do the same. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This is already very different from what you thought it would be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You don’t know what you are supposed to be cleaning, everything looks pristine to you, but you continue to sweep nevertheless. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beside you, Eren is wiping the nonexistent dust from a shelf while he mumbles to himself. You think back to your expectations for your first day and how wildly inaccurate they turned out to be before deciding to get some answers for your questions at least.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Say, Eren. Am I allowed to ask you questions about the craft?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He turns around, lowering the bandana from his mouth before answering. “I believe you are, there’s nothing you won’t find out eventually either way. Why, what did you want to know?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You pause. There is one question that has been burning you up, aching to come out ever since you first resigned yourself to your fate. You had been too scared to ask before, but you need to know. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Will it… hurt?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren stares, confused about what you could possibly be talking about before you glance at his chest, making him understand. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh. I’m not sure to be honest. Maybe?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That is not the answer you were expecting, so you decide to check, just to be sure. You step closer up to him, slightly invading his personal space as you questioningly place a hand on his chest. He feels warm, the thumping of his heart pounding against your palm, body still sustained by blood instead of magic. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You still have your heart! How?” You are unable to hide your bewilderment, holding back from pressing your ear against his chest to confirm your observation. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If your touch bothers the man, he doesn’t show it. Instead, he shrugs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You mean you didn’t know, huh? They don’t take it straight away. You have to take the official vow first and that only happens until you are ready for service. Master Levi will determine when that is, so it may be anywhere from months to years. There is really no way to tell.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh. The thought is oddly reassuring after the constant flood of emotions you had been feeling. You place a hand on your own heart, feeling its steady beating, happy to keep it for a bit longer despite its impending doom.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Looks like you and I will stay together a while longer, little friend. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Does that mean Master Levi has lost his already then? He is a court wizard, is he not?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren takes the broom from you, leaning his hands and head on it as he looks you over. The handkerchief on his hair gives him a comical look and you have to suppress a laugh despite the seriousness of the conversation. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes. His heart was taken many years ago, that’s actually where the rumors stem from.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rumors?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The whole wizard who wants to eat your heart ones,” he answers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s never been proven as far as I know, but there's a theory that eating someone else’s heart will free you from the vow. Take it over for you in a sense. It’s all a bunch of lies though, if you ask me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The thought makes a shiver run through you, blood turning cold. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The craft is already frowned upon, eating somebody else’s heart would be unforgivable. People are already opposed to others giving up that which makes them human let alone taking it from somebody else for something as selfish as saving yourself. You silently wonder if anybody would be willing to go that far, grimacing when you realize that it’s likely. There is no way others haven’t tried. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren interrupts your thoughts, taking off the cleaning ensemble he was wearing as he addresses you. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Anyway, I think we are done cleaning, not that there was to clean to start with, but Master Ackerman is very particular about dirt, you will come to learn that soon. I swear sometimes he makes me clean a place three times before he is satisfied. Was there anything you wanted to do?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You peel the bandana off your own face, untying the hair you had put up before as well and letting your hair tumble down your shoulders.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You mean we are free to do whatever now?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren is nonchalant as he puts the cleaning supplies away, stretching his muscles before turning around once more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Pretty much. Master Levi won’t be back until dark and that is still a few hours away. I can’t show you any magic since that is not my place, but I can give you a tour of the garden if you want? There is also a library down in the basement but I’d rather we not be alone if you want to go there, not all books are allowed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Realizing his offer is as good as it will get for now, you nod and follow him out the back door, exiting into a vast garden filled to the brim with both flowers and odd looking herbs. Dozens of different colors take up the space, filling what could have been a dreary area with beauty.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A part of it is growing vegetables as well, presumably for you all to eat and a couple of small chairs and a table adorn the space closest to the house’s outer wall. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You immediately walk over to a small shrub overflowing with beautiful white and pink flowers, crouching to get a closer look and smell them. Peonies have always been one of your favorites and it had been a while since you last saw one up close. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Last time was when you attended a wedding with your sister, a lone pale pink peony flower in place of the bride’s bouquet. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>People didn’t have much, but it was tradition for the groom to gift a flower on his wedding day as a gesture of love for his bride. You had fallen in love with that flower ever since, happy at the thought of what it represented. Peonies were known to bring good fortune, love, and honor, everything a good marriage could need. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gloomily, you think back of your own dreams of marrying someday and how impossible and far-fetched they felt now. Nobody would want a woman touched by magic, you wouldn’t be getting a flower from a handsome man anytime soon. No one would want to stay with a disgraced woman who would also outlive them in the end.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are all these flowers for?” you asked, distracting yourself from your thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren was inspecting a rose closeby, running his fingers through the petals as if checking for something unseen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Most are used for potions. Flowers are good for love and fertility. Some herbs we use for cooking, other plants are useful for spells.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And the rest?” you pushed, curious about the wide variety available around you. Eren gave you a smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a small hobby of mine. I told you, we get a good amount of free time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This was surprising, he didn’t seem the type, but you were not one to judge. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You garden?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He gave you a small shrug. “It keeps me entertained. Besides, women love flowers, don’t they?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You roll your eyes at him, dismissing his statement despite having lamented not getting a flower yourself just a minute ago. You wouldn’t let him see he had been right.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The garden is beautiful,” you admit. It is very well taken care of, no wilted flowers to be seen anywhere. Your statement makes Eren look proud.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can take any flowers you want to decorate the inside with, I’m sure Master won’t mind as long as you don’t make a mess.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You appreciate his offer, deciding to take him up on it immediately. Your room doesn’t feel like home, and maybe a nice vase with flowers will brighten it up a bit. You look around, wondering how you will carry them back inside when you notice him approach you. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren picks up a stick from the ground, then waves his hand, making a basket and a pair of shears appear in its place and making your eyes widen in surprise. He hands them to you with a smirk, clearly pleased at your amazement as you feel around the items, verifying how tangible they are. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you showing off?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A little,” he admits. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Someday, you will be able to do the same. Make items appear from thin air. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe you will learn enough that you will even be able to help those who are sick like your sister. Giving away your freedom for such a thought doesn’t seem so bad, at least you could help others keep their own in exchange. Maybe you would even keep a garden like this one, full with beautiful flowers to brighten your day. A tree heavy with fruit to snack on, a river nearby for water. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You walk around the garden, picking up a few different flowers as you try to reconcile yourself with your new life. Eren did say you could place them inside the house as well, so you try to select a variety to decorate each room. Some peonies for your room, a few light colored dahlias for the kitchen, hyacinths to place near the entrance. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The colors clash a bit with each other but you don’t mind, the inside of the house is eclectic already and a bit extra won’t affect it much. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You are so entranced by the beauty of the blooms that you don’t notice when Eren approaches you with a flower crown he made, placing it unceremoniously on top of your head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There, now you look like a proper forest witch,” he says with a smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The thought of it makes you laugh, flower crowns make you think of fae, not witches. But then, you are coming to realize already how little you know of the craft. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And say, what would a forest witch do, Eren?” you mock, mildly curious towards the response.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They lure in unsuspecting men and then bewitch them to steal their hearts, of course. Haven’t you been paying attention to the tales?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You snort at his words, vaguely amused at what can only be seen as a poor attempt at flirting.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t get to see other women very often, do you?” you ask. Eren sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. It seems you were right on the dot with your assumption.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He must be so lonely.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not really. I have other apprentice friends, of course, but I only get to see them during the social events at court. Besides, the only other women I get to talk to are either scared of me or more like family than anything else.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You can’t help but sympathize with him. Soon enough, you will be in the same situation. The men that once stole glances your way, making your heart swell with hopes of romance will start avoiding you like the plague once you take your oath. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As you both start heading back, you sit down on the chairs near the entrance, placing the basket on the table in front of you before reaching up to touch the flower crown on your hair. It smells amazing, you wish you could see how it looked as well, not used to wearing something so pretty.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are your friends like?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren leans back on his chair, crossing one leg over the other, perfectly comfortable around you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s Armin and Mikasa who both focus on enchanting, they are training to help the army enhance their weapons. Sasha and Connie are adept at potions and will probably take over the shops their masters own in the magic quarter. Jean is great at transfiguration though he messes up occasionally, turning himself into all sorts of silly animals. He once turned himself into a horse and we have never let him live it down.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You smile as you picture these people, all similar to you despite being complete strangers. You are now connected by a silent thread of fate, an inescapable life of service. You’d like to meet them sometime. Maybe you will get the chance to at one of the royal events Eren mentioned. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Does that mean that each wizard or witch focuses on only one proficiency?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not necessarily. You can focus on one, yes, but it is always better to be well rounded in all the arts. After all, you never know when you can be drafted.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You sigh at that thought. You have never liked the idea of the war, how many people it has left homeless and the insurmountable amount of lives it has taken. Someday, you will have to join the effort as well, using whatever power you have to harm those around you. For now though, you chose to focus on the positive. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Does Master Ackerman fight in the war as well?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hiding his discomfort at the question with an unflinching face, Eren turns to you before responding.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s complicated… Master Ackerman hates the war. More than anybody I have ever met. But he is forced to support the efforts whenever called by the king. He tries to avoid it as much as he can though, making excuses about other jobs he must fulfill as much as possible.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You humm in thoughtfulness. At least that proved it was possible to avoid the battlefield somehow, even if only temporarily. You wonder what type of jobs would be considered important enough to avoid the fighting. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He is the strongest wizard there is, you know? You are lucky to be training under him. We both are.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His words make your heart clench in unexpected sadness. You haven’t had time to process you moving here at all and it comes crashing down on you all at once.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lucky is not the word you would use to describe yourself. Holding back the tears that are now trying to escape from your eyes, you stand up and pick up the basket, intent on going back inside when he stops you. You look up at his face, hiding the desperation that is threatening to overcome you. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It gets easier. I promise.” His eyes are honest and hopeful as he says that, meaning every word. He has silently picked up on your mood without a need for words and is trying to comfort you as best as he can. It makes you glad to have him as a fellow apprentice, maybe you can become friends in time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You turn to look at the sky, noticing the sun is starting to set, painting the heavens with strokes of reds and pinks. You allow a lonely tear to roll down your cheek, but nothing more. You will not break down before the hard work has even begun, you are stronger than that. You owe it to yourself to keep your head high. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You are filling the last vase with water to place the flowers on the kitchen table when the door opens once more, announcing Levi’s return. His eyes are more tired than when he left, heavy bags having appeared throughout the day. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a loud sigh, he unclasps his cape, hanging it on a hook near the door and rolls up the sleeves on his shirt, loosening the cravat on his neck as he walks past you and sinks into a chair, all titles and pretenses be damned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rough day?” you offer. He is staring at the ceiling, arms crossed with a small frown on his face. His words are slow to come out, emphasizing how exhausted he must be. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You have no idea. Where is Eren?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Placing down the vase in front of him and avoiding the questioning look he gives at you when you do, you sit down besides him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Upstairs, want me to go get him?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi’s frowns deepens, looking towards the stairs in unconcealed scorn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That stupid brat is never here when I need him,” he says. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You are about to get up and fetch him when he calls out, not bothering to move from his spot or answer your question. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oi, Eren. Where the hell are you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It only takes a few seconds. Rapid footsteps immediately descend the stairs, Eren’s face appearing before you both.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry Master, lost track of time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tell me something I don’t know,” he retorts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wordlessly, Eren takes out a kettle, heating water for some afternoon tea without being asked to. You curiously glance at him as he does, questioning why he doesn’t use magic like he did before but Levi answers your question before you can voice it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We don’t use magic for unnecessary things. It’s a waste.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t seem in the best of moods, something you suspect won’t change anytime soon, so you decide to accept his answer without any further prying. You can always ask Eren afterwards.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once the teacups are placed in front of you all, Levi finally straightens up. He delicately picks up the teacup by the edges, inhaling the scent and taking a long sip before letting out a satisfied sigh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I showed her the garden, no one died,” said Eren, mocking Levi’s earlier orders to keep you out of trouble.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that why this place looks like a shitty flower shop instead of a magic household now?” he retaliates over the rim of his teacup. You’d take offense at his words, but you are too tired yourself to care. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi downs his tea, placing the cup down carefully on top of his saucer before addressing Eren once more, sounding a bit more lively now that he had his fill.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Go ahead, Eren. And try not to break anything this time, if you do, it’s coming out of your stipend.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren jumps up instantly, green eyes shining in excitement as he picks up a glass of water and places it down on the table in front of him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Watch this, Viola. You will probably like it.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi rolls his eyes, clearly unamused by him as he holds his hand over the glass, giving you a small wink.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren closes his eyes in concentration, making the glass glow for a brief second. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Suddenly, the water evaporates, turning into a silvery mist and floating above him. He opens his eyes, waving his hand in front of it, seemingly molding it by using the air. The shapeless cloud retains its aqueous properties, but takes on the shape of a white dove, a beautiful wispy trail dragging behind it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It flies around the table twice before fluttering down to you. You reach out your hand in amazement, wanting to feel it but it’s as intangible as smoke, nothing but an illusion. Eren waves his hand around, directing it around the room in different directions before it fades away, nothing left behind but a whisper of smoke.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi nods in approval, making Eren beam in pride. It makes you wish you knew how to do that yourself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good. Now do the same thing, but make it useful. There is no need to put on a show.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren pauses for a second, thinking of how to change up his act when a smile appears on his face. He takes your now empty cup of tea and places it in front of him before walking over to the few steps to the kitchen. Then, he repeats the previous movements towards the kettle on the stove, creating a new mist.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This one is darker from before, a light brown color and is shaped like a doe. It prances around the room, a few times, beautiful and immaterial all at once before turning into a small stream. Eren then makes a split motion with his hands, separating it into two and leading it straight into your and Levi’s cups, turning it back into a liquid. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Did he just?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Glancing down at your teacup, you confirm your suspicions. The once empty cup is now full with tea once more. You gingerly pick it up and waft the scent towards you, hesitant to believe what you saw was just real but Levi reassures you by picking up his own cup.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Go ahead, drink it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You bring it up to your lips, taking the smallest of sips to test it and smile in surprise when you confirm it tastes the same as before. It’s the same black tea brew you had just consumed, warm still as well. Had you not seen the way it came to be, you would have believed it had just been poured. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren walks back to the table, a small sheen of sweat on his forehead as he sits down. Despite the simplicity of the magic he performed, you understand it probably is a lot harder than it looks from the way his shoulders are now sagging. Unlike earlier when he made a basket, this seems to have drained him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you okay, Eren?” You ask, genuinely worried for him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looks at you with a tired smile, pushing back his hair with his hand without answering. Beside you, Levi is finishing his second cup of tea.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He will be after sleeping. First lesson, brat. Magic takes effort. Never try your hand at it unless I am here, do I make myself clear?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from pouting. He may be a wizard master, but you weren’t a child.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Viola, my name is Viola. But yes, I understand. No magic unless supervised. Not that I know how to perform any either way,” you grumble. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seemingly remembering that he never asked anything about you, Levi directs his full attention towards you, eyes inspecting your face for the first time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why did you want to give up your heart if you know nothing about magic? Are you stupid or something? You seem to young to have no other choices, you dress like a worker meaning you aren’t coming from extreme poverty either. So why?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His eyes are stunningly grey, you notice as he stares at you with curiosity. He doesn’t seem mad at you anymore unlike yesterday, just interested in your reasoning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My sister. She is sick and I needed the money. You are right to infer we are workers, but doctors are not something anybody but merchants can afford. I considered other alternatives but… I was running out of time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren gives you a glance laced with pity, but Levi only nods, accepting your answer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It makes no difference to him why you chose this path, only that you have made up your mind and that he is stuck with you until you are ready to go off on your own. He only wanted to make sure you were certain of  your choice before he started training you. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eren, send a message to Erwin to set up her stipend. There is no reason to wait for Isabelle’s approval, tell him I said so myself. Take her into town to get some suitable apprentice clothes tomorrow as well, I would rather not start any rumors about abducting local women.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, Master.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi’s kindness is not lost on you. As far as you knew, stipends could take weeks to get approved. Him bending the rules is an unexpected aid you were not counting on and you make a silent note to thank him for it somehow. This means your sister won’t have to wait as long for treatment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You were about to say thanks for his actions when he stands up, picking up the plates and placing them on the sink. He doesn’t wait for you to speak before heading up the stairs, only pausing to turn and look at you both once.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am taking a bath and then working on my study. I don’t want any of you bothering me or making any noise. Goodnight.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren waits until he is gone before approaching you once more, raising an eyebrow at your confusion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know, I think he likes you, I told you he was a good person, but he usually takes longer to come around. Come on, let’s get that letter out, I bet your sister has been waiting to hear from you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finally at peace for the first time in days, you follow him up the stairs. Maybe things won’t be so bad after all. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello everyone! I hope you are enjoying this story. I have so many ideas as to where it all will go and I can't wait to share them with you all! Let me know if you are liking the story so far, I would love to hear your thoughts &lt;3.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. An Unwarranted Choice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The choices we make, and those which are made for us are heavily imbalanced sometimes.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Levi walks rapidly, meticulous and silent as he tries to arrive at his workspace before being noticed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cursed the way his duties took up all of his time, invaded the small amount of peace he had. If it were up to him, or if he had any control over his life, he would have retired to have a quiet life years ago. Of course, Levi had never been given a choice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once his uncle had realized he showed an aptitude for magic, he had sold him off to the court, dooming him to a life of training. His vows had been taken by the time he was 20, his heart ripped out before he turned 30. He had been frozen in time since. Kenny had since passed on, resting like all the other humans, a kindness Levi was yet to know.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had tried disobeying on many occasions before. He held no love towards his life, finding no meaning in the dull and repetitive fighting that went on and on regardless of who held the crown. Levi was tired of it all. However, he was the most powerful wizard the court had seen in many lifetimes, and the iron hold they maintained over his heart was unflinching. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They refused to let him go. Once they realized punishing him held no effect, they started harming those around him instead, making him submit to their wishes eventually. Though he still pushed his luck every once in a while, taking the small freedoms he could get away with, Levi would never endanger somebody else for his own sake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Today, he had woken up hoping he would be spared the uselessness of attending the castle, that his day would be assigned to helping the common folk instead of wasting his time catering to the greedy pigs of nobility but, alas, he had been summoned.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was one of those days again, a mandatory court attendance one, and his discontent was apparent from the way his brows furrowed, daring anybody to cross his path as he strove to make the time spent here end as quickly as possible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t get far, the obnoxious sound of a walking pair of eyebrows was on his trail. He could tell from the heavy footsteps, the wordless feel of a frown digging into his back from a pair of unyielding blue eyes. Based on the skipping noises that accompanied it, an unrelenting four-eyed freak was pursuing him as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck do you two want?” he called out, not slowing down. He was not in the mood. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The swish of his cape behind him was the only answer, they wouldn’t speak freely on the corridors, hinting at the nature of the conversation they were looking for. He should have known. If it was his company they wanted, they would have sent a letter instead, an invitation for lunch perhaps. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two turns down the hall, three apprentices scared shitless at his glare and a barked order at a servant for tea later, Levi finally arrived at his destination. Pressing his palm into the wooden panel that would recognize only his particular magical composition and unlock the area for him, he steps into the room, letting the door remain open behind him for the people following. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He makes his way towards the large chair in front of the ornamental banner and sits down, one leg crossed over the other, and leans his head into one hand. The room was large, decorated to match his rank with hand-carved wooden furniture and heavy drapes depicting the court symbol. Fucking waste of money, if you asked him. He would rather spend his days in his bedroom than this stupid ornate place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two people who had decided to sour his morning are now inside, locking the door behind them after making sure no one was outside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of them approaches the bookcase near the window, messing up his organized stacks as though it was her shitty laboratory instead of his office while the other straightens out his cape, whispering a spell at the door to make sure they can’t be overheard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Out of the two, he chooses to face caterpillar brows, for now, knowing he is more likely to be concise in whatever it is they want. Shitty four-eyes was more likely to go into a rant about her newest discovery if given the chance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Spit it out,” he murmured. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning to you too, Levi. How is Eren progressing in his training?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It seemed he had been mistaken. Commander Eyebrows was not about to be concise this time. Not being in the mood for small talk today, Levi exhaled, organizing his already pristine desk as he talked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s going at a good pace. Still has years of training to do before he is ready though. Pretty adept at enchantments, possibly gifted at alchemy, disastrous at divination.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that so?” pried the blond man in front of him, eyes staring inquisitively at him now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So that’s what this was about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Erwin. He still isn’t ready. I thought we’d been over this before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erwin marched forward, pushing his heavy cape behind him as he took the seat in front of Levi. He intertwined his hands, leaning his head upon them as he stared into his steely eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Levi…” he started, but was cut off immediately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said no, Erwin. That answer won’t change. Stop trying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was more than ready to kick the two of them out, telling them to mind their own business when Hange walked up to him as well, giving him a glance with thinly veiled pity. Something was up, and he had a feeling he wouldn’t like it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know as well as we do that it is inevitable, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi knew, but he would hold on as long as he could. He may be a cold-blooded murderer himself, but he would not doom his apprentice to the same fate. No, he would try and prevent that for as long as he could despite secretly knowing the futility of his efforts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I refuse,” he insisted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erwin was about to reply, surely spouting some bullshit about how Eren’s heart had long been promised to the king or some other nonsense but Hange’s hand on his shoulder silenced him. He gave him a knowing look, well aware that would lead nowhere. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, she was honest with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Levi… Trost has fallen,” her face was full of anguish as she said that. They all knew people of the craft who had been stationed there and her words could only mean one thing for them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi pinched the bridge of his nose, pressing his eyes together as he allowed himself to think of the faces of his comrades, likely dead now. Mike had been stationed there. Lauren as well. Both of them he had known since his training days. More blood spilled for the sake of a stupid piece of land no one had a right to claim. What a waste.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what this means. We lost two masters and hundreds of crafters. Countless civilian lives were lost, not even the children or women were spared. There will be a draft soon and Eren will be required to join. We hate it as much as you do but-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-I will not lead that boy here like a lamb to the slaughter.” His words were pained, drowned in the despair and futility of it all. His wants didn’t matter. They never had, but he viciously hung on to them with his remaining humanity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Hange murmured. Her tone held compassion, but it was also brimming with defeat. She had apprentices of her own. So did Erwin. They had no desire to sacrifice them either, but their lives were not theirs to command. They hadn’t been for a long time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had both done their best, giving them skills that would be better suited for magic store owners than soldiers, but the king cared not for aptitude, he only cared for control. He would rather see their magic-laced blood flood through his kingdom than giving in to his enemies. After all, what was another heartless bastard lost to him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi forced his callous thoughts to retreat, slowly putting himself together as he always did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time, it was Erwin who answered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A year, at most. But it could be only months. Marley is rapidly advancing and they are getting desperate for reinforcements. Many of our own have tried to...flee. Another case was found,” he admitted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His words made Levi’s gaze lift in morbid curiosity. Another one? So soon?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did they eat this time? A bird? A dog?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erwin winced, clearly conflicted about the answer that was about to leave his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A child.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fucking hell.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>A child. The bastard, whoever they were, had stolen and eaten a child’s heart. They had given in to the fear, to the cowardice of their own decisions, and tried to take the easy way out. It sadly wasn’t unheard of.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Many wizards, scared of their fate, of their lack of control, would lose what little remained of their cursed humanity and lure unsuspecting victims in to steal their hearts. Of course, a grown adult could not subsist on the heart of an animal, their beats were not strong enough. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They would implant them in their own chests, exchanging one curse for another. If they were lucky, the weakened heart would give them a few years of freedom at best. But to go as far as to target another human, one unsullied by magic. A </span>
  <em>
    <span>child. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It was the vilest of acts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Children had strong hearts. The only magic stronger than the unburdened heart of the young was that of somebody in love. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whose?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hange sighed, making him expect the worse, as though it wasn’t bad enough already.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“His own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck’s sake. You’ve got to be kidding me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Levi… he wasn’t the only one either. A whole group of runaway wizards was found. Most had taken animals, but some took humans as well. They were given the death sentence, of course. Their stolen hearts were ripped out and crushed. Not that it was a fitting punishment, of course. Taking a life like that…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t even need to finish her sentence. Levi knew. What a bunch of fucking cowards. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How is the king so sure the new apprentices he is trying to force into service won’t do the same?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eren would never, he was sure of that. He couldn’t speak for those trained under lesser masters though. Not everybody held such high esteem in other’s lives.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah. That is the thing. You see… all these people joining, they still have families.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi’s blood went cold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hange nodded, confirming his fears. These people’s greed truly knew no boundaries.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The procedure worked. It will be integrated into the vow once the new wave gets recruited. A few links have already been established so they are certain it will work. Their hearts will be tethered to that of their closest living family member.“ Hange sat down, sinking into the chair next to Erwin’s before continuing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is clever really, even if cruel. They may be willing to risk their own lives, but they usually won’t risk those of the ones they love. The king isn’t too worried about the years to follow once their families die off, survival rate isn’t high lately after all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi thought back to his newly acquired apprentice, the way you had barged into his life and decreed that your heart was no longer your own because you wanted to save your sister. With this new change, not only were you asking for them to rip your heart out, but to put your sister’s at risk now as well, making your kind sacrifice void. And he was absolutely powerless, unable to do anything about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had taken the obliged vow of silence when he joined the craft, after all, everybody had. He could not speak of any secret matters to anybody who wasn’t inducted themselves or his own heart would turn into ash. He didn’t even have the capacity to warn you about your actions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had accepted your request already as well, barring him from turning you away anymore. He was bound to you with a delicate unseen thread, one which was dangerously tightening around your neck without your knowledge. Levi had, once more, unwillingly taken a life he never meant to hurt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It mattered not that your heart was still beating in your chest, pumping precious blood into you. That it was reddening your cheeks with beautiful blushes only those without a curse could produce, it was no longer your own. You were, without question, doomed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did your own apprentices take the news? The drafting ones, of course.” It was a stupid question, but it was the only thing he could say. Levi was suddenly drained, his head was empty of anything but pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They don’t know yet.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erwin’s eyes were downcast as he admitted it. He adjusted his cape once more, a nervous habit he only showed when vexed. It was a rarity to see him in this state.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They will be told at the ball.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A ball? He hadn’t heard anything about a stupid ball. It had barely been a month since the last one. The disgusting image of nobles gorging themselves while indulging in the paid comfort of the court dancers was still fresh in his mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You mean we are having another shitty ball already? When?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no answer. Instead, Erwin pulled out a folded piece of paper and slid it towards him over the desk. Levi picked it up, carefully unfolding it, flattening it in front of him.</span>
</p><p>=</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>By order of his majesty, Rod Reiss. First of his name, sovereign ruler of Paradis and protector of the walls.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>All wizards and witches are required by law to attend the ball taking place during the next Harvest Moon. Apprentice attendance is mandatory. We look forward to welcoming the new members of the craft and further explain their role in the restoration of our beloved kingdom.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Long live the king, and may magic guard your hearts.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He crumpled the note in his hand, knuckles turning white with anger. Eren was a known apprentice, but perhaps you could still be spared from attending? There may still be a way of hiding you away. The impossibility weighed heavily on his chest. Of course, he knew there was no way he could hide your existence. The second he showed up, the king would sense his new bond. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if I don’t attend?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hange’s eyes softened. “You know the answer to that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did. Refusing certain orders would only affect him. He was powerful enough, necessary enough that they would look the other way when he stayed out of petty battles for small, unimportant territory. When it came to a direct order for a court event though, it was his apprentice’s life on the line. He would be risking Eren by declining the invitation.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So we have a month. Before they start ripping their hearts out like livestock.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His thoughts were interrupted by the servant knocking on the door, finally arriving with a cup of tea. Levi’s mouth was dry with anguish now, he was so nauseous from the revelations that, for the first time, he didn’t feel like drinking a drop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hange opened the door for them while he thought over the possibilities, the events that were destined to happen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You would have a few months of freedom still, they couldn’t take someone as green as you into the army, no matter how desperate they were. Eren, on the other hand, had been training for years. He would undoubtedly be drafted in the first round. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to prepare him, train him as best as he could; teach him all that was possible in the short amount of time he had left with him. It was the only way he could see him surviving this conflict. Once Eren was ready, or as ready as he could be, he would train you as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi stood up abruptly, he had no time to waste. Especially not on shitty court duties, they could all go to hell. He had to get you two ready, and he had to do it now. Ignoring the servant holding a tray with tea, he ran through the door, intent on getting home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no time to waste.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So tell me again, why do I need new clothes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You were trailing behind Eren as he guided you through the merchant district, its intimidating walls looming around you. Precious stones and extravagant fabrics stared at you from behind ornate storefronts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A pair of shoes from here alone would be worth more than you made in a year, making it seem ridiculous to get a whole wardrobe to you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As an apprentice, you not only represent Master Levi, but also the court. It is more complicated than that too. If you dress like a commoner which, mind you, you definitely do, you will be recognized as one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, and walls forbid people know I’m poor, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eren smiled at you from his peripheral. He was increasingly easy to talk to, especially after he had helped you send a letter to your sister last night so you found yourself voicing your thoughts more often than usual.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You had both climbed into the study, with Levi’s permission, of course, to send a note home. Your surprise had been immediate when you saw that it would be delivered, not by a pigeon as you expected, but by a spell. You should have known.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had taken you mere minutes to draft out a loving message, excitedly telling your sister not to worry, that all was going well and she would be healthy soon. Once you had sealed the words, Eren had folded it in half and sprinkled some sort of shiny dust in it. He asked you to think of home as he did, whispering an enchantment over it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Afterward, he had walked towards the open window and blown on the letter. The sparkling powder had scattered in the wind, the letter slowly turning into dust as well. You watched mesmerized as the glinting substance dissipated into the air, blending into the night sky amongst the stars.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Next to you, Eren hums, bringing you back to the present.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not that either. It’s just that it is too dangerous for an apprentice to approach the common folk without them knowing of your origins. You could harm them without meaning to and it would be disastrous. The fear your clear rank will inspire will also be their protection.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you saying I will accidentally blow someone’s head off?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not necessarily. But you could always do things like give them a bad cold or cut off an arm by accident. I’m sure they wouldn’t appreciate the sniffles.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You snort at his words, his jokes may not be the best, but you get his point. It will be hard to control your magic at first and if making people run away from you saves them from a disastrous fate, then so be it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do I at least get to pick what I wear?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’m sure my sense of style is better than yours, but I will allow it,” he mocks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He is not wrong either. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eren is wearing some casual brown slacks with a light button down shirt, an apprentice cape hanging from his shoulders. It may be simple, but it’s effective. You’ve noticed the many longing stares he’s received despite his clear wizard status. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first shop you stop at is clearly catered towards crafters and high nobility. The soft satins and tulles as well as the velvets are breathtaking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You make your way towards the dress section, recognizing the type of clothes you’ve seen on other witches and holding back from staring too long at the price tags. Eren mentioned this would be covered by Levi, having you look the part being his responsibility towards the king. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They are an upscale version of what you typically wear, long, flowy skirts that allow for mobility and tight bodices that are fitted enough to be flattering but lose enough to let you breathe. You run your fingers through a beautiful pale dress when Eren taps you on the shoulder, showing off his pick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It is a scandalous piece with a deep neckline that makes you gasp in horror, a mouth coming up to your mouth in shock. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What type of woman do you take me for?” you say, snatching the dress of his hands before anyone can associate you with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eren is laughing now, holding his stomach as tears appear in his eyes. “You are right, you would need to be able to...fill it in to wear something like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You huff, indignant at what his words imply, and look down at your breasts. They look perfectly fine to you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just kidding, Viola. Lighten up a bit.” He takes out a different dress from behind his back, a much nicer one, you have to admit. It is much more your taste. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You immediately forgive his previous actions when you see it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The dress is a beautiful midnight blue. Unlike the other more expensive fabrics, this one is a mixture of organza and tulle, so beautiful it almost looks like a waterfall at nighttime. It has long sleeves that flow from the shoulders all the way to the wrists. Instead of a deep neckline, the dress sports an off the shoulder cut. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. Even your sister would be impressed at the craftsmanship. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eren smiles, clearly pleased with his choice. Perhaps you should let him pick out the clothes after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking the dress in your arms carefully, you follow him around the store, picking different garments in deep, gorgeous colors you never expected you’d wear. While Eren himself wears only an apprentice cape, you are allowed both that and a cloak as options to provide you with more pockets. Though you wish you could use the one your sister made for you, you find one that is similar enough to remind you of it as well as a couple of capes for variety.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shoes come next and you select a comfortable pair of boots to wear underneath it all. You may need other shoes at some point, but this should suffice for now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once all the clothes are paid for, the resident wizard of the store uses their magic to weave the court symbol onto all ornamental pieces. Your dresses are allowed to remain plain, but gloves and coverings must identify your rank with the magical crest so others can see. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It is overall less of a pain to get all these items than you thought it would be and you are happy to have done it. Eren made the trip a lot more fun and less worrisome than it would have been had you gone alone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He now walks right next to you, intent on taking you back home when he recognizes a pair walking down the block from where you are.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eren!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A woman wearing a brown ponytail rushes towards him, jumping and enveloping him in a tight hug. Behind her, a man with closely cropped hair carries a bag with food from where the piece of half-eaten bread on her hand surely came from.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sasha, Connie! It’s been a while.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eren turns to you, intent on introducing you to his friends. You vaguely remember their names from your conversation yesterday and are excited to meet them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is Viola, she is Levi’s new apprentice. Can you believe that? This one right here nearly burst through the door and practically demanded he take her in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasha’s eyes bulge in surprise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You mean you actually stood up to Levi and are still alive? Man, are you sure he was awake, Eren?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Connie has now caught up with you all and waves a hand in greeting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are we talking about?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasha turns to him, stealing another piece of bread from the bag he holds to replace the one she has finished munching on while he approached.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is Eren’s new apprentice partner! You’re not going to believe it but, she wasn’t recruited, she straight up made Master short stack take her in!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Connie’s mouth drops, making you feel like standing up to Levi was a much bigger deal than you thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is he really that… intimidating?” you voice your curiosity with caution, knowing the response may not be what you want to hear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eren runs a hand through his hair, slowly thinking it through before answering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sometimes,” he finally concedes with a shrug. “I guess you haven’t seen him on a bad day yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That makes you pause.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You mean this has been him on his </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span> days?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All three of them nod at the same time, making you understand just how grumpy your new master could turn out to be. At least he has been kind to you so far. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He helped your sister and took you in, you will not hold it against him if he turns out to be a moody person, you have definitely dealt with worse in your days at the newspaper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eren takes the silence as an opportunity to change the topic, clearly uncomfortable talking about Levi without him present.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are Isabelle and Farlan?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The name rings a bell. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You suddenly recall how Levi mentioned something about letting Isabelle know your stipend would be expedited, further cementing your determination to repay his kindness. She must be a powerful wizard as well to be in charge of court stipends, that must take a great deal of trust from the king. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Were Connie and Sasha apprentices under her? Was Farlan also a master?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sasha pauses mid bite to answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well Isabelle was slightly surprised over your and Erwin’s message about the money yesterday but otherwise nothing has changed. Oh, except for the court summoning! Have you heard about it yet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The street around you has started clearing out by now. Though you are still dressed in worker clothes, the three people around you aren’t, and having so many magic users together must be making others uncomfortable. You fail to notice the cautious looks they give your way but are fully aware of the way they avoid the area nea you, choosing to take other paths instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Court summoning? So soon after the last?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Connie puts down the clearly heavy bag and stretches while he responds. Besides him, Sasha is working on her third piece of bread now, making you wonder if there will be anything left by the time they get home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, apparently there is to be a ball. It says all masters and apprentices are to attend. We have no idea what it means yet, Isabelle didn’t really tell us, Sasha found the note on her night table. Farlan didn’t really bring it up either so we expect they will at some point tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eren turns to you, a guarded look on his face. He carefully picks his words, messing with his hair as he does. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are sometimes summoned to court. Nobody really likes it but it’s part of our duty, even before vow taking, to answer the call of the king. It’s usually just a bunch of nobles submitting requests and people enjoying the free food so you should be totally fine even if you are still a greenie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eren had explained earlier that apprentices who had yet to start using magic were called greenies. Apparently, it could take a Master years at times before they decided you were ready enough to start learning. Thankfully, he also mentioned Levi wasn’t the type to do that, wanting his trainees to be as prepared as possible before sending them off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Based on what he told you, some wizards would take on people willing to learn only to steal their stipends and then make them take a vow before ever being ready only to repeat the cycle all over again. They were trying to play the system without truly caring for the people under their wing and it made you glad you had ended up where you did. It would have been terrifying to be sent off to war someday without a clue what you were doing because of someone’s corrupt nature. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see… Do you know when this party will take place?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eren shook his head, so Connie interjected for him, picking up the bags once more and holding them close to protect them from Sasha.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The notice said next Harvest Moon, so around a month for now. It makes me wonder if they’ll give us a trial. You know, them choosing a day where magic runs high.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You were about to ask what he meant by that, the question on your lips when Eren flinches beside you, staring at a ring on his right hand. His eyes widened before grabbing your hand and turning to Sasha and Connie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We need to go, we are being summoned. Master Levi is never home early so it must be important.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t wait to hear their response, dragging you behind him as he dashes through the streets back towards the house. Eren looks over his shoulder once and, noticing your questioning look, explains what is happening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a magic ring. We use t when we are far from each other in case we need to communicate. Master Levi rarely uses it so something must have happened that requires our help. It has more than one function, but he used it to summon us home right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You are interested in how the artifact works, being the first magical item you encounter so you ask him what else it can do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lot’s of things actually. If you are hurt, it will get warm depending on the severity of your injuries to alert Master Levi. He enchanted it himself to do that. When he wants me to go home, he makes it tighten on my finger to catch my attention. It sometimes changes color as well if he needs you to fetch something. I can teach you how it works later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sensing his urgency to arrive home, you decide to distract him no further. Eren seems like a good apprentice, always listening to his Master and you admire him for that. The heaviness of the boxes he carries with your clothes doesn’t seem to detain him either, not stopping for breath until you are in front of the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unlike him, you are not used to running around this much, so you are panting by the time you get home, a small bead of sweat running down your forehead now, cheeks flushed from the exercise. He gives you an apologetic glance before stepping inside and holding the door open for you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Inside, you find the wizard pacing with a worried look on his face. His cape is still clasped, having forgotten to get comfortable when he got home himself. His neat hair is disheveled, silvery eyes stormy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where the hell have you two been?” His words come out slow, pained, and laced with worry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eren puts down the boxes, pointing to them as he does.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Getting her apprentice clothes like asked?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi’s eyes flicker to the pile, eyes widening slightly as he remembers his order from last night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> He stops walking around, crossing his arms as several emotions pass through his eyes. He gives you a small glance, seemingly deciding whether he wants you to hear whatever he has to say before settling on allowing you to stay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sit down. Both of you. We need to talk”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi everyone! I wrote this chapter these past couple of days, so here it is! :D It gives a bit of a deeper look into what the whole magic deal is to better explain why it can be so dangerous and frowned upon. Let me know your thoughts! I hope you are enjoying this story &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A Serious Proposition</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A serious conversation about the future, a magic spell.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Levi was pacing again.</p><p>Back and forth across the small space, sporadically taking deep breaths with a pause as if to speak only to resume his walk.</p><p>Eren had taken this as a sign and boiled enough water for two pots of tea; something was telling him you would all need it soon. The way he kept glancing worriedly at his teacher hinted at how rare a sight it was to see the wizard this frazzled. </p><p>You count the minutes in your head, unsure of whether you should interrupt or not, wondering if he had maybe changed his mind and you should head upstairs instead. The bags are still laying on the floor with all the things you had carried back and you wanted to hang them in your closet before they got wrinkled. </p><p>The wait was cut short soon enough though once Eren placed the tea down on the table, the enticing smell reaching Levi and making him finally slow down.</p><p>The wizard had turned his head towards the tea, nodding at Eren in appreciation before sliding out a chair and sinking into it. His usual graceful way of moving was affected by whatever worried him, you noticed. Once Eren mimicked his actions, he finally spoke.</p><p>“There has been a change in plans.”</p><p>Eren turns to look at you, wondering if any plans could involve you this early before he continues.</p><p>“I just spoke to Erwin today. They…” Levi’s face shows a small flash of pain, words dying in his throat. You worriedly start standing up to help when Eren places a hand on your arm, stopping you. </p><p>“He can’t say too much,” he explains, “it probably interferes with his vow. Does it have anything to do with the ball, Master? We saw Sasha and Connie today, they mentioned something about it.”</p><p>The vow, the one you are supposed to take as well. You wonder how much it will change your life, whether it will keep you from speaking to your family, from being able to voice your concerns, speak your mind.</p><p>Levi nods, thinking over his words before saying the small amount he is allowed to confer upon you both.</p><p>“Yes. Eren… your training will have to be sped up. You are to take the vow sooner than expected. There have been some...changes. I can’t say much, but you need to be prepared. I will be staying home much more than before, the king and his court can fuck themselves for all I care, you <em> will </em> be ready when the time comes.” </p><p>Though his words hold little meaning for you, Eren’s eyes are wide with excitement near you.</p><p>“You mean I get to learn more things then? What about combat magic?”</p><p>Levi puts down the teacup he had been drinking from carefully, staring down at it instead of Eren when he answers.</p><p>“Yes, even combat magic.” His tone is forced, you can tell this isn’t a topic he likes speaking of. Changing the topic, he looks at you now.</p><p>“Brat, you will help Eren as best as you can, your own training will have to wait a bit. In the meantime, you will be allowed access to the library for study purposes only, and always with supervision.”</p><p>“Master, if this is related to the ball… does that mean I have a month left?”</p><p>Eren is quick to catch onto what is going on, luckily for you who is still feeling a bit lost about it all. A hint of annoyance was starting to spread on your face before he said that. From his earlier displays, Eren was a talented wizard already, but not one you would consider a warrior. If transforming water into mist had tired him out, what would fighting do?</p><p>Suddenly, Levi’s panicked state made a lot more sense. There was just no way Eren would be ready on time. That also made you question why Levi would push your own training for later, were you both not expected to enlist at the same time?</p><p>“Excuse me if I am out of line,” you begin, not wanting to cause him further frustration, “but would it really be smart for me to wait? I can train alongside Eren. If I am to give up my hea-</p><p>“-You are not to be enlisted yet.” Came his interruption, slightly dismissive as he sipped the last of his tea.</p><p>You awaited an explanation, staring at him while you waited for him to enlighten you but it was Eren who spoke up.</p><p>“The king can feel when a wizard takes on a new apprentice, so he likely knows of your existence, but it would be detrimental for him to draft someone who has yet to even begin her training. Though he is getting desperate enough to take greenies on, he will not take somebody who is still untouched by magic and place them in charge of a squadron.”</p><p>
  <em> So crafters are given their own people to command over. That makes sense, being as they are the strongest. </em>
</p><p>“You likely have at least a few months. Unless the war gets worse, maybe even a year or two before he calls upon you. Your inexperience is your shield.” </p><p>His explanation unburdens your heart a little, reassuring it of the gift you have been given by allowing you to remain fully human still. However, you still have doubts about the whole ordeal.</p><p>“You can’t tell us exactly what is going on, that much is obvious, but can you say what changed? Why is Eren being drafted so soon? Why does it worry you this much? If he fights, will he be alone? Is that what is worrying you?”</p><p>Levi exhales, looking into your eyes as he processes your many questions. He owed you answers, he knew. Your heart was on the line after all. But he could only provide you with so much. </p><p>Ignoring the headache that had started to bloom from discussing anything related to the ball at all, he speaks of that he was physically able to.</p><p>“Eren will not be alone. He will be under my command when the time comes and will be protected by me. His training will also continue regardless, so despite his shitty abilities right now, he will improve. The change-”</p><p>Levi doubles over, an arm over his stomach as the pain erupts within. The magic inside of him was poisoning him as he approached that which he had no right to discuss. Slowly, he enunciates as much as he can, the pained words spoken breathily.</p><p>“A new part of the oath. That is all I can say. You will find out at the ball.”</p><p>His rapid change makes Eren leap out of his chair, running to his side. The sight of it all makes your blood run cold. Was this the power of the vow? </p><p>You had learned some about Levi’s reputation as a powerful wizard, so important he worked directly with the court. Yet here he was, bent over in pain at the mere mention of some words. Bound to secrecy, a puppet dancing on beautiful glimmering strings of magic that he couldn’t free himself of.</p><p>Soon, this would be Eren as well. </p><p>You look towards the apprentice, taking on his tall, strong frame. Recalling the way his green eyes sparkled under the sunlight as he showed you around the garden and then imagine him in a similar position, unable to control his own body, all the joy drained out of his soul.</p><p>It is terrifying, an awful image that leaves you tethered to the ground in paralyzing fear. </p><p>Soon, this will be <em> you.  </em></p><p>Eren helps Levi up, helping him back into the chair before being pushed away.</p><p>“I am fine, brat. It is yourself you should be worrying about. That brings me to the other thing I wanted to discuss with you… Viola, you don’t have to stay for this if you don’t want to, but I suggest you do. It may involve you as well at some point in the near future.”</p><p>His use of your first name stuns you both, whatever he has to say must truly be serious if he is being so direct. His face is solemn, giving nothing away as he stands back up. You notice the way he ignores the pain, lips pressed into a thin line as he straightens up and places a hand on Eren’s shoulder.</p><p>Any other time, the sight would have made you laugh. The height difference meant it looked as though Levi was looking up at a giant, yet the seriousness of the situation made the smaller man look every bit as powerful as he was. </p><p>“Eren, do you remember what you learned when I first started teaching you? Why I kept you from working at court with me? Kept you hidden as much as I could?”</p><p>Eren glances at you briefly, seemingly self-conscious about whether you should be here, but trusts his master’s wisdom.</p><p>“I do.”</p><p>“Good. Now is the time to decide whether you want to take me up on that offer.”</p><p>Eren’s reaction is immediate. He pushes Levi’s hand away, stumbling back as he looks at him with a horrified expression on his face.</p><p>“I would never!”</p><p>“Jaeger, listen to me. This is serious. You could die out ther-”</p><p>“-No. I knew what I was getting into, you cannot convince me. Besides, you took me in, after my father died. How could I ever betray you like that? The answer is no.”</p><p>Levi’s eyes narrow, glaring into the man as he urges him to reconsider, but Eren doesn’t budge. The seconds tick by, your confusion growing with them before Levi nods, accepting his verdict. </p><p>“I hope you live to regret that choice, brat.”</p><p>“I am sure I will, Master.”</p><p>The way Eren’s expression changes betrays how young he still is. His eyes are glinting with unshed tears. Are they from anger? From fear? Maybe from both? Before you can ask about it, he storms off, going up the stairs. A few seconds pass before you hear the door slam and then you are left alone with Levi in the kitchen, dumbfounded by the display.</p><p>He exhales loudly, sighing as he shakes his head towards the stairs before turning to you. </p><p>“I guess you want an explanation. The same will apply to you someday, so stay, you may as well listen.”</p><p>You don’t have to ask what you need to stay for as he picks up the teapot and refills it with more water. Despite him disliking the use of magic for mindless activities, he waves his hand over it, boiling it immediately. He must really be tired to be breaking his own rules. </p><p>Walking back, he pours some tea for you before doing the same for his own cup and settling down. It makes you wonder if he ever sleeps, with how much caffeine he is consuming on a daily basis. He never seems to eat, just indulge in his blend constantly.</p><p>“How much do you know about the vow?” </p><p>Levi blows on his cup lightly, steam moving away from his lips while he looks at something invisible with a faraway look. You pick up your own drink, wondering whether you should offer him some food as you think of your own knowledge. </p><p>“Not much, if I’m being honest. I just know they rip your heart out and keep it in a vault or something. I know once they do you become more powerful but in exchange, you can’t age and that if you disobey direct orders, you die.”</p><p>Levi rolls his eyes, taking a look at you over the rim of his cup.</p><p>“You came stomping down my door without knowing a fucking thing about magic? Figures.”</p><p>He gives you a small shake of his head but his eyes remain without anger. You are bound to him now, after all. What you know or do not know makes no difference now. </p><p>“It is a bit more difficult than that. Here, take a look at this.”</p><p>Levi unclasps his cape, letting it fall smoothly from his shoulders. Once he does, he unbuttons the top of his shirt, making you redden immediately while you avert your gaze, focusing your eyes in the opposite direction.</p><p>
  <em> What is he doing? </em>
</p><p>As you do, you hear him make an amused sound. You couldn’t help your reaction, you had never seen a man in that way before, and he was the last one you would ever expect to.</p><p>“Oi, brat. Whatever you are thinking, it’s not it. Just look.”</p><p>Hesitantly, you slowly return your gaze towards him. Levi is holding a small vial in his hand. It is attached to a small chain he appeared to have been wearing around his neck. He holds it out to you, offering you the chance to take a closer look.</p><p>“Careful, that shit is important.”</p><p>The vial appears to be made from glass and, on the inside, is a silvery, shiny liquid. It sparkles like stars, like a miniature galaxy trapped as a souvenir bottle. At first glance, it almost looks like the color of his eyes and it makes you wonder if that is intentional. </p><p>“It’s beautiful. What is it?”</p><p>Levi lifts an eyebrow, presumably at your admiration of the vial, and takes another sip before answering.</p><p>“My life. Or my soul. Whatever the fuck you want to call it. Hell if I care.”</p><p>Your fingers tighten around it, suddenly not so confident you should be holding it in your clumsy hand. You grimace as you imagine the delicate contents dissipating in the air.</p><p>“What happens if I drop it?” The thought makes your stomach turn. Is this truly made of glass?</p><p>Levi shrugs nonchalantly, downing the last of his tea and reaching for your nearly untouched cup. </p><p>“Then I die.”</p><p>Your breath catches, a nervous sweat starting to make its way down the nape of your neck. You hold out the vial to him once more, suddenly uncomfortable that he would let you hold it at all but he doesn’t seem to care. Instead of taking it from you to wear it once more, he places it down on the table, making you anxious at the thought of it rolling off and falling to the ground.</p><p>“Aren’t you afraid? Why would you even let me hold something like that?”</p><p>Levi drinks your stolen tea, giving you another shrug as he takes his time with his words. Now that Eren was gone, a choice having been made, he seemed a bit more at ease.</p><p>“I told you to be careful, didn’t I? Besides, it’s sturdier than it looks. It may look like glass, but it is actually made from crushed diamond. Plus, I’ve lived a long life.” </p><p>The last phrase is said with a tinge of sadness, an aura of regret. The metaphor for his soul and the way it is contained doesn’t escape you. It suits him. A mere man who is the most powerful wizard your kingdom has seen. </p><p>“When you take the vow, they will take your heart and use magic to extract your soul from it. While you are right in that it remains in a vault, accessible only by royalty, your soul is given back to you. You couldn’t possibly remain alive otherwise.”</p><p>“That’s rather nice of them.”</p><p>He snorts at your suggestion, stretching out on his chair. It has been a long day and his muscles are weary. He rubs the back of his neck, trying to soothe the tension that never fades.</p><p>“It’s actually not. That is precisely how they control you. You don’t get all of it back, only a piece. With your heart gone, blood no longer pumps through your body and magic slowly replaces it all. It may give you strength, but it poisons you in exchange. The bastards own you from the second you offer yourself to them. What’s worse, once they get their eyes on you, they try to speed up training as much as they can, pressuring you to join. That’s why Eren stays at home.”</p><p>Suddenly, the vial and its contents are a lot more ominous. The beautiful crystal, the diamond dust encasing it, looks more like a prison. A beautiful cage.</p><p>“Why are you showing me this?” Is he trying to scare you off? You can’t go back on your word, even if you wanted to. </p><p>“Because I want you to fully understand what you are getting yourself into, and why I offered Eren what I did. You see… there is a slight way around taking your vow, even after becoming an apprentice.”</p><p>This is news to you, making you widen your eyes in surprise. Hadn’t he just said that Eren would be forced to enlist? Even before he had given his approval? </p><p>“How?”</p><p>His next move is unexpected. </p><p>Reaching over the table, Levi grabs your hand. He places the vial on your now open palm before using his own hand to close your fingers around it. His eyes are molten silver as he looks at you, deadly serious and it makes your heart jump. His soul? </p><p>“An exchange of sorts. Not many apprentices are made aware of it because of the severity of the consequences. I can’t speak of it, do you understand?” His hand closes tighter on yours as he says this, urging you to understand his meaning without the need to say it out loud. </p><p>
  <em> An exchange. His life on your hand. He couldn’t possibly mean? </em>
</p><p>“Your life? For ours?”</p><p>Levi nods, a pleased look on his face, but the realization horrifies you. Suddenly, Eren’s earlier reaction makes a lot more sense. </p><p>You could escape the vow, get your life back even after having promised yourself as long as your wizard master took the hit for you. Once your heart was in possession of the king, there was no turning back, but <em> before </em>then. </p><p>He had been offering Eren freedom. The choice to leave, to escape the inescapable. To let him take the one thing he had left to give now that his life was no longer his. And now he was offering the same to you. </p><p>A man you barely knew, who had already helped you so much had put his literal soul into your hands to make you understand how serious the offer was. </p><p>“No. Absolutely not. You don’t even know me! Why would you offer that?”</p><p>It almost made sense with Eren, he had been like a father to him for many years, but not to you. His eyes harden at your answer, displeased by your rejection of his offer.</p><p>“It doesn’t matter, brat. I wouldn’t wish this life upon anyone, stranger or not, and you are under my care now. Eren was an idiot to turn it down, but you still can if you so wish. The choice will be yours to make until the day before your vow. Remember that.”</p><p>“My answer won’t change.” </p><p>You are sure of it. Though your sister may be healthy by the time your vow comes around, you would never let somebody else pay for your choices. It makes you furious he would ever think you capable of that.</p><p>As you look down on your own small hand, still enveloped by his, a silent tear rolls down your face, falling on top of it. It lingers there for a second, glinting like a small gem in his skin before he pulls back.</p><p>Noticing your discomfort, he takes out a handkerchief from his pocket and offers it to you. You take it wordlessly, hands still clutching around the vial, letting the hard surface dig into your palm. </p><p>How could something so beautiful be so dangerous? So damning? </p><p>You slowly open your fingers, looking at the item under a whole new light. The galaxy inside now looks sad. Like shooting stars, forever doomed to be trapped in a void without even a night sky to light up.</p><p>“I knew Eren was stubborn, but I was hoping you would be smarter than that, brat.”</p><p>You offer him back both his possessions but he turns the handkerchief down, waving at you dismissively to keep it. He did seem like a bit of a clean freak, so perhaps even a tear from you is too much for him to want it back.</p><p>“Sorry to disappoint you, Levi.”</p><p>He doesn’t correct the way you address him, and you are glad for it. Calling him master feels odd to you, a bit too foreign. Besides, you like his first name. </p><p>“Tch.” Levi shakes his head at you, gaze settling on the corner of the table instead of your face. “I guess it can’t be helped with. Come with me.”</p><p>He stands up abruptly, giving you no chance to ask what he means before he picks up his cape and heads up the stairs. You glimpse back at the forgotten cups, wondering if he is really okay with leaving a mess behind but his voice answers from ahead, seemingly knowing you’d ask.</p><p>“Leave them, I’ll pick that up later.”</p><p>
  <em> Don’t tell me wizards can read minds </em>
</p><p>With a sigh, you pick up your bags, following him up the stairs. </p><p>Noticing he is walking in the direction of his study, you place the things you are holding down outside your door before turning once more. Eren’s words to never go in uninvited echo in your head as you do, making you hesitate before you hear him call out to hurry the hell up.</p><p>The inside, though being spotlessly clean, is filled to the brim with a mixture of odd items you have never seen before. Bookshelves line every wall, inhabited by anything from books and parchment to strange-looking items and crystals. A small enchanting table lies in one corner, brand new candles sitting near it and a large desk sits next to a wide window with a small loveseat underneath it. </p><p>From this angle, you can see the full moon shining through, illuminating the beautiful red carpet with its light. </p><p>Levi is rummaging through a drawer in his desk, murmuring to himself as he does. His cape has been draped carefully over a chair and, as he busies himself, you walk around the room.</p><p>You notice a small assortment of picture frames on one of the shelves, depicting a wide variety of people who smile down at you. </p><p>One is a tall blonde man who stands next to a woman with brown hair. Levi is standing in between them both, his stoic expression contrasting with their laughs. Another image shows a short woman wearing pigtails hugging a man with light hair, making odd faces at the camera. </p><p>The last two pictures have random pieces of jewelry laid in front of them, though what they represent you wouldn’t know. One is a bracelet, another a necklace. The other two are simple rings. </p><p>One picture shows a group of four. Three men and a woman all give a strange salute with a wide smile. You can tell they are people of the craft from the clothes they wear.</p><p>The last image shows a woman with long, black hair and a familiar set of light eyes. Both of these are further to the edge, separated from the rest. A small candle is lit between them with an odd blue flame that seems to emit no heat. </p><p>As you lift your hand closer to it, you realize it is cold instead. Hesitantly, you touch it with the tip of your finger, causing it to change color. </p><p>The blue turns into a vivid purple for a few seconds, lightening into an almost lavender color and giving off heat before changing back.</p><p>“Hmm. Interesting. Eren turns it yellow.”</p><p>His voice surprises you, making you turn around so quickly that you stumble. His hand is immediately stabilizing on your arm, eyes looking at the shelf instead of at you.</p><p>“What does it mean? And why is it blue?” You straighten up, turning your gaze back at the candle. You notice the way his hand remains on your arm, seemingly more interested with the flame than with letting you go.</p><p>“It’s blue because I lit it. It’s just a magical trinket, a soul candle. It only dims once the owner dies.” He says it with a shrug, finally letting go of you as he turns around. When you touched it, the candle had given off warmth. Was it giving off a chill now because Levi was it’s owner? How long had it been lit for?</p><p>“Why is it here?”</p><p>“You’re a nosy little brat, aren’t you?” He crosses his arms as he looks at you, waiting for you to follow him by the desk, but answers nonetheless.</p><p>“A reminder. The people in there had their light extinguished, but mine is still here thanks to their sacrifices. I don’t want to forget that.”</p><p>You want to tell him that is a beautiful thought, and sad, but you don’t get the chance to, Levi turns around before the words roll off your tongue. Did the trinkets in front of their frames belong to them as well? How had they died?</p><p>
  <em> Maybe I am a nosy brat, I should ask Eren if he knows anything.  </em>
</p><p>As you walk around to join him, you see the assortment of materials he laid out. One is a lump of silvery quartz, lying next to a few gemstones that glint in the light. Beside them rests a long red ribbon and the vial levi had shown you earlier. </p><p>“I am going to need your help with the spell, so do exactly as I say.”</p><p>He picks up the vial first, asking you to hold out your hand to grab it. When you reluctantly do as he asks, he closes your fingers around it once more, his intention for you to be careful clear. Then, he grabs the quartz in one hand, the ribbon on the other and ties it around your left wrist before giving you further instructions.</p><p>“Tie it on my wrist.  When I tell you to, you will hold the vial near my heart and I will…” He immediately stops, giving you a quick glance before widening his eyes and looking away.</p><p>“You will what?”</p><p>Levi clears his throat, uncomfortable with what he is about to say.</p><p>“I have to place my hand on your heart as well. It will be quick” </p><p>A blush so strong you feel its burn makes its way up your cheeks. You were wearing several layers. A chest binding, a sheath dress as your undergarments, and a dress. Yet that didn’t distract from the fact that he was asking to touch your chest. Or close to it, at least. </p><p>
  <em> Well, it’s not like you were ever getting married after this either way. Who will care about whether a random man touched your chest? </em>
</p><p>Making up your mind, trying to swallow the shame at having him touch you in such an intimate manner, regardless of the reason. You tie the ribbon on his wrist, letting him know you understand. </p><p>Briefly, you think about whether would blush too, if he was able to. Probably not. </p><p>He may not be the warmest of people, but there was no way to deny his looks. Despite being touched by magic, you didn’t doubt there were women who would fawn over the most powerful wizard in the kingdom. Your gaze had lingered on his exposed chest a few times in the past moments already. </p><p>
  <em> It’s only curiosity. You’ve never seen a man‘s exposed skin before, Reader, don’t think too much about it.  </em>
</p><p>“Ready?” He looked at you now, rolling up his sleeves and asking for your permission before proceeding with whatever spell he was about to perform.</p><p>You nod once, feeling the warmth intensify as he grabs the hand holding his soul, placing it above where his heart once resided within his chest. He then places his palm on top of your beating one, closing his eyes as he mutters strange-sounding words.</p><p>The feeling is strange. </p><p>Though he is wearing a shirt, you can feel how cold his skin is underneath. You hadn’t noticed before, too distracted by the feel of his hand to realize its temperature, but now the realization sends a chill through you. Levi notices, frowning slightly as he continues the spell.</p><p>Though his chest is empty, you feel no less curious from how you would if it wasn’t, the symbolism of holding his literal soul in your hands daunting. It makes you wonder if the feel would be different under his shirt; if holding your ear close to it would allow you to hear anything at all. </p><p>Your own heart is fluttering under his hand, beating hard as you feel the closeness. This would likely be the most intimate touch you would ever experience from another man and it made you confused about how to feel, pushing down the warmth that had started to spread.</p><p>
  <em> Curiosity. Just curiosity. </em>
</p><p>Gone were your dreams of being lovingly held by someone else as you chose your fate. You assumed you could always approach a fellow wizard if you wished, they are bound to be lonely from what you’d seen, but you’d always wanted to find love, have a family of your own someday. It would take some time to come to terms with the futility of it all. </p><p>Were you doomed to be alone for the rest of your days? Finding only momentary comfort in arms that would never be yours? It’s a saddening thought, but a soothing one all the same. At least you hadn’t experienced love yet, it would surely be easier to give up than if you had. </p><p>Taking a look at the man in front of you, you let your mind wander if he ever experienced it himself. Did someone hold him once? Before he gave up his heart? How old was he when he did? He still looked to be in his twenties, but you couldn’t be sure. </p><p>As Levi approaches the end of the spell, he shudders. You are about to ask him if he is alright, suddenly remembering the reality around you,  before you feel it yourself.  The magic, stronger than anything you ever felt before. </p><p>It starts as a tingle on your fingertips, the ones on his chest then runs up your arm like an electric current. It knocks all the breath out of your lungs, makes your knees weak. Though it is not unpleasant, it is strange. You feel lightheaded and weak yet your body feels powerful. </p><p>Your heart starts pounding even harder, seemingly wanting to escape from your chest before you release a gasp. Levi opens his eyes, expecting what happens next and, as you collapse, he catches you in his arms. </p><p>You are too feeble to protest, leaning on him as he walks you to the couch nearby and helps you sit. Taking the spot next to you, he unties the ribbon from your wrist before doing the same to his own. </p><p>“You did well. Sorry about the dizziness, I tried to take the brunt of it but you got some shockwaves regardless.” </p><p>You take notice as he opens his hand, inspecting the pair of rings that now lay in it as he brings them up to the light. So that is what this was about. </p><p>They look similar to the one Eren wore, except no gemstones are decorating them yet. The bands are also thinner and more delicate, silvery under the moonlight. </p><p>“What do you mean I only felt shockwaves? Am I that weak?”</p><p>Levi is unbothered by your indignation, still assessing his handiwork with a small frown. </p><p>“Of course you are. You’ve never performed magic before. This is a difficult spell too so it was bound to use some significant amounts of energy. I absorbed the majority of the hit but you can never go unscathed by a spell. Now. Pick your stones.”</p><p>He nods towards the table, waiting for you to stand before he realizes you physically can’t move yet. With a roll of his eyes, he brings them to you instead, explaining the way the spell worked as he sits back down. </p><p>“I linked a part of your soul to mine, your heart to what remains of my own. If it comes to that, I will link you up with Eren as well. Now if you are ever in danger, I will feel it. One ring is yours and one is mine. There are several things it can do.”</p><p>He lifts up his hand, pointing at a ring matching Eren’s. </p><p>“This one is Jaeger’s. It doesn’t matter much where he uses his since he can control it somehow, having practiced magic for a few years. You will wear yours on your ring finger. It connects to your heart so it will make the readings more accurat-... what?”</p><p>Levi questions you, noticing the way you looked away when he mentioned the ring. </p><p>“It’s nothing. Just some silly thoughts. Go on.” The small twinge of disappointment you feel barely bothers you. No wedding ring for you in the future, no need to keep that finger free. For someone so brilliant, this man was a bit clueless about his words sometimes. </p><p>“Right. Eren can answer your questions about it too but basically, if you feel it tighten significantly, come straight home. If you get lost, it will point the way back as well, both to the house and to me in case you need to find me. It will let me know if you’re in trouble as well so I can help.”</p><p>“How?” Your eyes narrow a bit with curiosity, he hadn’t mentioned if it would tell you if he was in trouble as well, not that you’d be of much help if he was. </p><p>“It will burn. It’s the easiest way for me to tell.”</p><p>You remember the way his skin felt, icy against your own. It seemed like a good tell for sure. Hard to miss. </p><p>Levi holds out his palm, showing you the gemstones to choose from. He doesn’t mention if they have any purpose but you can always ask Eren later. You can tell he feels tired from the way he slouches a bit, regardless of his attempt to hide it. The spell may have been hard on him after all. </p><p>With a small smile, you pick up three colors. A small topaz, the color of your sister's brown eyes when she looks up at the sun. An emerald, for Eren, and a small silver gemstone for Levi. If he thinks the choices are weird, he doesn’t say it. Instead, a small smirk shows up in his lips.</p><p>“Sentimental, aren’t you?” </p><p>Though it bothers you how transparent your gesture was, you ignore him, choosing to look at how he enchants both rings to look the same. Once he is done, he tosses one to you, slipping the other one on his own finger and making you snort. </p><p>“What’s so funny?”</p><p>You shake your head as you put on the ring in the finger he indicated, lifting up your hand to show him. </p><p>“Not the proposal I was expecting, that’s all.”</p><p>Levi pauses as he takes in your words, the smirk making its way back, wider this time, in the end. </p><p>“I’m sure you will replace that with the real thing someday, from somebody else. Don’t worry about it, brat.”</p><p>His uncharacteristic kindness catches you by surprise, making you smile before you shake your head. </p><p>“Doubt it. Not that it matters anymore, either way. Besides, who would want to marry a wiza-“</p><p>You stop before you can finish that sentence, suddenly realizing what you were about to say.</p><p>
  <em> Who would want to marry a wizard?  </em>
</p><p>You watch him for signs of anger, sadness perhaps, but he only shrugs. He agrees with you, a monster was better off alone. Levi preferred the way others feared him, it kept them safe. </p><p>“My previous offer still stands.”</p><p>“Do you really think I would take a life just for a man?”</p><p>Levi stands up and holds out his hand, an offer to help you up, to see if you are able to stand now. </p><p>“Man or woman, it matters not to me. Just want you to know you have the option.”</p><p>He walks you all the way out the door, following you back to your room while he carries the bags you left behind. Before he leaves, he makes sure you are feeling fine and places your new clothes on the desk. Once you reassure him that you will not pass away in your sleep, he finally takes his leave. </p><p>“Walk up the brat if you feel sick.” He pauses, leaning against your doorframe before adding the next part. ”Or call for me, I’ll likely be awake. Goodnight.”</p><p>It is only once he is gone that you allow yourself to let out a sigh, throwing your tired body on the bed. As you do, you lift your hand up, admiring the ring that decorates your finger. </p><p>No, you would never change your mind. There are only two men in your life now, and no one else is worth their hearts. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi all! Sorry, that took a bit longer than expected to post, hopefully, the wait was worth it! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter :D . We are learning a bit more every time and it makes me excited to share all that I have planned!</p><p>This is truly a fun fic to write despite the angst, it is entertaining coming up with ideas to flesh out the world a bit more. Let me know what you thought!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. A Mixture of Emotions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A closer look at magic, a brief whisper of hope.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When you open your eyes once more, you realize how late it is. The curtains in your room are drawn, having prevented the sun from waking you at the usual time yet you can vaguely see the outline of its shine like a halo around them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You jump out of bed, dashing towards your wardrobe to find something to wear, worried about being late for the day before your feet stop, rooting you to the spot. Taking a quick glance behind you, you look at your room again. Something is different from before, changes you didn’t make yourself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Who drew the curtains?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A few more steps forward, and the doors of your closet are open as well, showing the neatly hung clothes from the day before. Despite having been bundled up in boxes and bags for hours, not a single crease is in sight. It is almost like somebody took the painstaking task of straightening them out and organizing them in your stead. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And who hung these up for me?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It takes you a second to realize there are no loud voices wondering where you are, nor have there been all morning; the sound surely would have woken you. Taking a look in the mirror at your tired face, the way mild eyebags have appeared from the exertion of yesterday’s events, you conclude they purposely let you sleep in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It is a strange explanation when considering the level of importance they placed on punctuality, but nothing else makes sense. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You slowly wash your face in a basin, realizing for the first time the deep ache in your muscles, the weariness that coats your entire body. Was it because of the spell? You had felt tired after it last night, but your limbs did not feel as heavy as this. Maybe it had taken a larger toll on you than expected, Levi did mention he couldn’t protect you from its full effects after all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Stretching out in hopes of diminishing the ache, you think over the events of last night. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren would have to speed up his training, give up his heart sooner than expected. The anger on his eyes at Levi’s suggestion to sacrifice him instead proved he would go through with it no matter what. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As you pick out one of the new garments to wear for the day, vaguely hear the sound of the door opening and closing downstairs, making it known that the men are outside. You walk out of your room and down the stairs, intent on participating in their training as well, learning as much as you can before it is inevitably your turn when you hear a loud thud.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It makes you speed up, the sound of your footsteps akin to large droplets of rain as you rush out the door into the garden outside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren is on the ground, hugging his side in pain while Levi stands in front of him, a somber look on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You run to his side, wanting to help him up before a deep voice stops you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Leave him, he has to get up by himself. It would be dangerous for you to get too close as well.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You pause, annoyed at how little he seems to care for his apprentice today when he was so worried yesterday until Eren turns his head, giving you a nod. He slowly starts getting up, pain evident on his face and then he turns to you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He is right, I need to learn how to manage myself in the field. We are running out of time and, if I can’t even take a low-level attack like this, there is no hope for me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He turns back towards Levi, giving you his back, and spreads his arms. “Hit me again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi shakes his head slowly, not in denial but in reluctant acceptance and you see him raise an arm towards Eren as he mutters some words under his breath. A second later, a strong gust of wind erupts from his palm, so fast you can almost see it, like tiny daggers made of air.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren quickly takes a defensive stance and, in the brief moment before the spell reaches him, whispers some magical words himself, a brittle shield of mist appearing in front of him. It stops most daggers on their tracks, dissipating them into the air. All but one.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You wince at the same time he does, just as it pierces the skin near his arm, droplets of blood painting the ground with his pain. Regardless, he refuses to give up. With a determined frown on his face, he reaches into a pocket tied from his waist, taking out something that looks like a marble. So mundane you would confuse it with a mere toy were it not sparkling, mist rippling on the inside of its smooth surface.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He throws it towards Levi, and then a large cloud takes over all around you. You can’t see a thing, but you hear their grunts, the sound of a knife being drawn, and another thud. Then there is silence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rooted to the spot, you flicker your gaze around, impossibly trying to focus your eyes until the mist dissipates. Once it does, you see Eren on the ground once more, Levi sitting next to him. A clean knife lays next to them on the ground.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What is going on?” you whisper, confused by the lack of explanation from their earlier brawl, the dive into a world you had no familiarity with until recently. It’s making your head spin, how quickly things change.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He had a good idea, but poor execution,” answers Levi from the ground. As he stands up, dusting himself off, you notice the lack of exertion in him, a clear contrast to Eren’s exhausted figure beside him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A diversion, it would have been smart in the battlefield, if only he had the means of preventing it from clouding his vision as well. When you are as blind as your opponent, there is no advantage to be spoken of. He bet on me being unable to see him approach and lost.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As he talks, he walks towards Eren, offering a hand to help him up but he waves it away, intent on showing independence in every way he can. Once he is up you notice the trickle of blood persistently making its way down his side, staining his clothes further.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t we treat that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He presses his hand to the wound and winces, turning away to sit by the table near the door before answering.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s totally fine, I’ve had worse.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi however, disagrees. He narrows his eyes at the man and crosses his arms, as he walks next to you, addressing him from afar.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Go up to your room and rest, Eren. That is enough for today.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren looks up from his chair with defiance in his eyes, struggling to stand up but failing. He lets out an exhausted groan as he attempts to move but falls down back into the chair in the end.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can keep going,” he insists. “I just need a second-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“-No. It’s not up for debate. Go upstairs, brat. I will check up on you later.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stares Eren down for a few seconds, waiting until, finally, he gives out an exasperated exhale.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine. But once I’m healed, I want to try again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You walk up to Eren, offering support to help him stand but he dismisses you as well, placing a hand on the table to try and lift himself up. It takes more than a few tries and multiple painful sighs, but he eventually succeeds, stumbling towards the door. Once he is gone a few moments pass before Levi’s voice makes you turn around.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tch. Stubborn little brat. Come on, let’s prepare something for his wound.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t wait for you to answer, disappearing behind the doorway as well a mere second later. When you follow after him, you are surprised to see Eren is nowhere to be seen. It makes you wonder how he made it up to his room but you decide not to question it, there is a vast amount about this world you don’t know.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi walks up the stairs, becoming for you to follow with a wave of his hand. You trail behind him, picking up your skirts as you walk to keep you from tripping as he leads you into his study. You notice he briefly flexes the fingers on his right hand, the one where Eren’s ring lays. It surprises you that he decided to keep it on, knowing he would be able to feel partial pain from practicing with him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why did you keep it on?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The door closes behind you just as he walks towards his desk, lighting a few candles for light.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Keep what on? I can’t read minds, you know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Good to know.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The ring, why did you keep it on if it hurts?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi hums, walking over to the alchemy table before gracing you with an answer. He never seems in a rush to enlighten you, always taking his time to think things through before speaking. You wonder if it’s partly because of how long he’s lived that he never seems to hurry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It makes it easier to know when I’ve pushed him too far,” he says slowly, careful about his words.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that the only reason?” you pry, unconvinced with that answer. You have a feeling he would be able to tell regardless, it doesn’t make sense for him to hurt himself in the process.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Liar.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It has nothing to do with you feeling guilty then? About hurting him in the first place?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tch. How about you put that witty mouth to use and help me instead? May learn something in the process.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He points towards the various flasks on his shelf, ineffectively trying to distract you from the previous conversation with the promise of finally performing some magic. It almost works.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine, what are we doing here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He grabs a couple of odd-looking liquids, a few sachets as well, and waits for you to approach. Once you do, you see the way he has carefully placed the items he’ll need in order, almost like a mise en place a chef would set up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You will grind down these seeds into a powder for me then mix them with the ingredients I mention. Try not to hurt yourself in the process, there is only enough for a small batch and I’d rather not have to go into town to replenish my stock just yet.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You pick up the pestle which has already been filled with fragrant seeds. They smell pleasant when you lift them closer to your nose, almost floral. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It takes barely any effort to grind them down and before you can ask what to do next, he pours a gray-looking substance over the powder. Levi takes the grinding stone away from your hand, cleaning it with a handkerchief at the edge of the table before handing it back to you. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It is important not to cross-contaminate. Especially for healing poultices where the aim is to repair instead of destroy. It may seem unnecessary to clean your tools in between substances but it is a good practice to get used to.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It does seem unnecessary to you, especially since there was nothing in the container that would not be mixed in either way, but you refrain from questioning his methods. After all, you were finally doing something productive with your time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What happens if you forget to clean it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It can cause a wide variety of reactions. In this case, nothing would happen. However,” he pauses, adding a liquid so clear it looks like water, “now it would react with the dry powder and cause a minor chemical reaction that could burn through your skin.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And now I will remember to clean. Noted</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you explain what I’m doing and using? It may come in handy if I can learn something every once in a while.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi’s hands halt as he turns to give you a small glare.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What did I saw about that witty mouth, brat?” The retort has no anger behind it. In fact, his tone is laced with amusement as he thinks over your question.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is just a minor healing poultice we are making, no magic involved so I didn’t feel the need to teach you. If you are interested in alchemy, however, there is a book in the library you can take. Blue binding, gold letters. You can ask Eren to help you find it once he improves.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You try to hide your disappointment as you continue to mix the elements together into a paste. Here you were, thinking you were finally learning magic only to work on a home remedy instead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If it’s not magic, then why did you say it could burn me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He smirks, glancing at the mortar in your hands before sprinkling some dried flower petals into it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Science. The two are very similar, but only one of them turns you into a rich asshole’s slave. That looks done now, hand it over”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You snort at his joke, coinciding with his observation. He briefly gives you a pleased glance before picking up your work and examining it. Raising it to the light, he turns looks at it from a few different angles before deciding he is satisfied and pouring it into a pot. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Here, you take it to Eren.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He offers it to you, recognizing your puzzled expression as you pick it up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi shrugs, already busy with picking up the items on the table, meticulously wiping down the surface that was never dirty to begin with. Eren had seemed annoyed at being dismissed earlier, but surely he would appreciate a visit from his tutor?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He seems to like you. I’m sure he would enjoy it more, coming from you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The small space is back to looking the same as it was before you entered, spotless and softly illuminated by the warm candlelight. He walks towards the window, opening the curtains and letting the sunshine in. It makes you wonder why he worked by the dim flame before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do I have to spell it out for you, or are you really that oblivious?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looks at you over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow at you. As his meaning finally sinks in, your face reddens. He couldn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>possibly</span>
  </em>
  <span> mean that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve barely known him for a few days! What type of woman do you take me for?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finally content with the state of his study, Levi turns around to face you. He leans back on the wall, running his hand through the windowsill as he checks for dust.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“None of my business. I do apologize if I offended you, but time works differently for us. You’ll grow to understand that soon enough. Besides, I said he likes you, not that he wants to marry you. Don’t overthink it too much. ”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Trying to look past his indiscretion, you step closer, sitting down on the edge of the large window. It is not high enough to make you nervous about falling and so you look out, taking in the beautiful view.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sits down opposite to you, crossing one leg over the other as he balances himself. You watch as the sunlight kisses his skin, bringing out the color in his eyes, the chiseled structure of his face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Once you stop aging, the days have less meaning,” he gazes out the window, staring at the river running nearby. “It all starts blurring together soon enough.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What does that have to do with Eren?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What he is saying seems almost paradoxical. Eren is still in possession of his heart, he hasn’t stopped aging yet. Furthermore, you don’t see how you being here comes into play. While you are glad you misunderstood his earlier remark to mean something it did not, you’re still curious about the other trainee. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He feels like he’s running out of time. It’s contradictory when you think about it. Time is all he will ever have, yet he feels like his humanity is running out. It isn’t unusual amongst apprentices to get reckless as the time for their vow approaches. Many try and form as many attachments as they can before that happens.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Even if it’s someone they’ve never met before?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Especially if it’s someone they’ve never met before. You are stuck in the same position as he is in but, at least for now, you are a reminder of a different life. All of his friends are apprentices as well. He knows it would be pointless to pursue any of them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The memory of Eren admitting to his loneliness surfaces, making your chest hurt a little. You could barely consider him a friend, having spent little to no time with him so far, but you could understand what Levi was saying in a way. It was the same reason human soldiers would seek out comfort before a big battle, trying to cling to one last shred of life before their breath became air. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe that is why he had opened up to you so quickly, effortlessly speaking his mind. He needed a friend to confide in, one that could speak of things other than witchcraft and war. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know, that is something I can’t quite understand. I know other humans fear the crafters, but why don’t wizards find companionship amongst themselves? It seems impossibly lonely.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You hug your cloak closer to yourself as you think back to your sister. It had barely been any time at all since you last saw her, yet you missed her terribly. You can’t imagine having to live without her for the rest of your life. How did these people do it?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s complicated. But that is a conversation for a different time. I can take him the healing salve if you want, but my previous statement still stands.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After thinking it over for a second, you stand. You pick up the small pot and walk towards the door, looking behind your shoulder at him before you leave. Levi has barely budged, still mesmerized by the sights from the outside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You want to ask if he feels that way too. If he ever gets lonely, all by himself. You haven’t been here long enough to know about his life, but you get the feeling there is no one that holds a special place in his heart. Or the space that remains where it once was. He seems far too busy for that. It is with that sad thought that you finally exit the room, silently whispering to yourself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You don’t notice him look back, staring at the closed door when you leave.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Days start blending into each other as your time in the house progresses.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your routine remains the same as you wake up early, eat breakfast and proceed to watch Eren train. Somedays, he hurts himself and you help tend to his wounds. It makes a friendship start to bloom between you as he talks about his friends and you tell him about your life before. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the weather is nice, you grab a book from the library and sit on the table in the garden while the spells fly overhead. You are starting to recognize the strange words they mutter sometimes, some of them in a language called Latin, others a mixture of dead tongues and odd sounds.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>More often than not, Levi retires to his study at the end of the day, leaving you two to have dinner alone. It makes you wonder what he does all that time by himself. He always looked exhausted as the day came to a close, eyes tired as he took a cup of tea with him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Eren, how long have you known Levi for?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had been in the middle of a story about his friend Sasha trying to transform cardboard into meat when you interrupted him, but if it bothers him, he doesn’t let it show. You rarely ask about his relationship with the older wizard and he is always happy to oblige, holding him in great regard.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ever since I was a kid. My father used to visit him sometimes, asking for guidance. He’s always been a remarkable wizard. Quite famous too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really? I hadn’t heard of him before.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren chuckles, gathering up the loose strands of hair near his face up into his usual bun.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That is because you never had to get involved in the war before. He is considered the strongest wizard in our kingdom.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His comment is surprising, but not outlandishly so. You’ve never seen any other people use magic before, but there is something almost elegant about the way Levi fights. He is fast and precise, never hesitating as he strikes. You’ve caught yourself staring at him in awe more than once. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Does he get special treatment as such? I never see anybody visit him asides from customers.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He used to, but he hated it and made them stop. In exchange for living in peace on the outskirts of our town, he works directly in court. They could have always forced him to, of course, but it is always better to have him comply.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You hum thoughtfully, thinking back to how stressed he looks whenever he has to attend to the king. Those days are harder than most on him. Eren tends to flee when he notices, shutting himself inside his room. You’ve tried talking to him before when he arrives, hoping all he needs is someone to talk to about whatever happens at court but he always waves you off before heading upstairs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why does he distance himself like that, Eren? Are all wizards this lonely?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The last time you spoke to him still lingers on your mind, the same question unanswered. You don’t know what it is about him that makes piques your curiosity this way. Perhaps it is because you know Eren has other people to turn to that you focus on making sure Levi does as well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Neither of you notice his presence as he lingers on the stairs, listening in to your discussion. He had been wanting to prepare some more tea before going through the documents he brought home as well as give you the letter that arrived when he heard you mention his name, curiosity rooting him to the spot. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s had a… difficult life. It’s not my story to share, but he isn’t entirely alone, you know. I know there are other masters he is fond of, you may meet them someday.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really? Do you know them?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren nods as he leans back on his chair, a smile adorning his features as he thinks of the few people he’s seen his master relax around.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There is Hange and Erwin. Isabelle and Farlan too. All of them are powerful wizards and an eccentric bunch as well. Farlan and Isabelle are training Connie and Sasha who you met that day in town. Hange oversees most of the alchemic department and Erwin oversees our war effort.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really? I didn’t know! What do Farlan and Isabelle do? Do they have a specialty as well?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You place your elbows on the table and lean forward, resting your face on your palms. It was interesting to learn about the world around you through their acquaintances and you were happy you asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, Isabelle approves apprenticeships and stipends, but you probably already knew that. Farlan helps train wizards in non-magical combat.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your ears perk up. Non-magical combat? As in, weapons? This was the first you heard of wizards fighting with anything other than spells. Noting your confusion, Eren explains.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right, you probably don’t know. You see, magic tires out your body, as you already know. While your energy can be replenished through potions and….other means, it is essential for a wizard to stay alive while on the battlefield. Soldiers are ordered to protect you because a crafter is worth more to the king than a human. Knowing how to fight with a sword or other physical weapons helps reduce casualties by defending yourself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You’d heard of soldiers being sacrificed to save wizards, their value was well known. It was one of the reasons people disliked them so; many had lost loved ones as they shielded the crafters with their lives. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What other means? I feel like there is so much I don’t know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren hesitates, looking down at the ground instead of meeting your eyes. It looks like you’ve inadvertently hit a sensitive topic.</span>
  <span>“I… you may not like that answer, Viola,” he frowns. The usual sparkle in his green eyes is dulled as he debates telling you the information you may eventually learn, whether it comes from him or not.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eren? If I am to fight, shouldn’t I know?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sudden sound of footsteps make you both turn towards the stairs, finally spotting Levi. He had stayed quiet as he listened in, choosing this moment to interrupt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t you two brats be heading to bed already? It’s late.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren sighs in relief at the intrusion, glad he doesn’t have to be the one to break your heart with the information. Of all the atrocities the king ordered wizards to commit, the one he had almost revealed…. Hopefully, you would never have to know.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi! Eren was just telling me about your friends,” you greet. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tch. Pains in my ass, more like,” he scoffs as he approaches the table. “Since you are both awake, there is something I wanted to discuss. The date of the ball is approaching.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You hear the sound of kettle, noticing Eren has already stood up to prepare some tea. It’s endearing watching how much he cares for Levi. Whenever he talks about him like he was just now, he speaks with the same fondness as when mentioning his father.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“During the Harvest Moon, I remember. Is there anything else we need to be prepared for?” you question. He had previously been avoiding the topic like the plague. Maybe he had decided it was finally time to explain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi adjusts the cravat at his neck, loosening it a little. Despite the late hour, he is still wearing his cape, fully dressed in official attire. It makes you realize you’ve never seen him wear anything casual like Eren and you sometimes do.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There is,” he admits. “I need to prepare Eren to take his vow, of course, but there are more things we need to work on as well. The court will be full of greedy pigs trying to sponsor their way into getting more recruits for their causes, so we need to be careful. I have secured Eren’s position under my squad so he will be safe, but people may try and sway you, Viola.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This is surprising. You assumed whenever the time came, you would simply follow Levi as well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You mean I don’t get to fight with you, like Eren?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sits down, holding out a hand for the cup Eren is walking with now. You notice the bags under his eyes look darker than usual, making you wonder how much sleep he’d been getting lately. The ball and its worries were taking a clear toll on him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ideally, yes. But I have no control over that yet. Remember you just enlisted as my apprentice and, until the bond is made official by the king, you are up for the taking. Keep to yourself, stick close to me, and you should be fine. Try not to stand out too much.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His comment makes you exhale with amusement. You’ve never considered yourself particularly beautiful or outstanding. In fact, your favorite quality about yourself is your easy ability to love others. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Me? Stand out?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi frowns at your reaction, but it is Eren who questions you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s so funny?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Folding your arms across your chest, you avoid their gazes. You are not about to admit to your low self-esteem in front of them. Instead, you divert their attention towards something else.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nothing in particular… That all sounds easy enough, what else should we know?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi observes you as he drinks his tea, curious about the sudden change in your attitude. Your shoulders had slumped a bit, your eyes turned downcast. He could guess what you were thinking of, not that he agreed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You were one outstanding person. Brave enough to knock on his door and demand to be taken in, charming enough to catch his sullen apprentice’s eye. Never too scared to argue with him or speak your mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had to admit you were growing on him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The usual. Manners, dancing, trying not to die of boredom as you drown in politics. I will know more once I talk to Hange tomorrow, the preparations are still underway but she should have more information than me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren nods as he listens, showing he understands. You, on the other hand, feel a weight settle on your stomach. Manners, you could use some help with but, were confident you could learn. Politics, you could deal with, you’d just know your head at the right times and smile. But dancing? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The last time you had tried had ended in chaos. A broody-looking boy who had wanted nothing to do with you after the many times you stepped on his feet and a face flushed with shame. Your sister could dance, beautifully so. You, however, had a horrid lack of skill.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The men renew their conversation, unaware of your thoughts as you try to think of a way to get out of it. Maybe you could pretend your ankle was sprained? Would it call more attention to yourself if you were sitting by the sidelines watching them instead?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You hide your face in your hands as you think it over, half mad at yourself for the ridiculous thoughts, half nervous for the reality that’s coming. It feels scandalous to worry about something as mundane as being unable to dance when Eren’s heart lies on the line and so you force yourself to set the thought aside. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sound of your name breaks you out of your thoughts. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unaware of how many times it has been pronounced before you realized it, you chose to lift up your head once more, peering at the men in front of you. Eren leans forward and tilts his head, trying trying to understand the change. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Viola? Is everything okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Their looks mimic each other as they stare at you, confusion muddled with curiosity. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s just been a long day, do you mind if I retire? Levi is right, it’s time to go to bed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You start to stand up, pushing yourself up with your feet before Levi raises a hand, stopping you in your tracks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, I have something for you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’d almost forgotten, after hearing you and Eren speak then bringing up the ball. His fingers slip inside his pockets, searching for the piece of parchment he’d received earlier. He had been mildly surprised you hadn’t thought to check for a response after your last letter, perhaps unaware you could even receive one.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once his fingers close around it, he smooths it out, holding it out towards you. As you reach out for it, your fingers inadvertently brush his in your excitement. You recognize the handwriting on the outside, having seen it hundreds of times, and immediately hold it up to your chest in a loving manner. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The brief contact warms up his hand with a rush as he recalls the last time he touched you, the way the warmth spread beneath his palm as he murmured a spell. That time, his hand had been where yours now laid, on top of your beating heart. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He missed it sometimes, the feel of a steady heartbeat, the warmth only an uncursed body could provide. He never spoke of it out loud, of course, he’d never allow himself to crave for something he couldn’t have. He was a cursed man and thus associated only with those similar to him, the damned. Regardless, some nights he remembered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The way the wind had once felt cold against his warm skin. The way his chest felt when his heart would steadily thump inside him, its rhythmic feel reassuring him with every breath. He envied you both in a sense. Even Eren who would soon become like him. You were both so </span>
  <em>
    <span>alive. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What does it say?” Eren asks, more than happy for a distraction from the quickly approaching events. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You slowly unfold the letter, eyes quickly scanning its contents as a smile forms on your face. A few heartbeats later, and a single tear rolls down your cheek.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She has been able to secure the medication she needed and is rapidly improving. She may even be able to go outside again soon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your fingers tighten around your sister’s words, overwhelmed with gratitude. She was going to be okay. She would heal and walk again. Maybe one day, she would even go back to work doing what she loved. Your sister would survive. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Suddenly, a wave of emotion overtakes you. You are grateful that the sacrifice you must eventually make has worked. Moreso, you are thankful to the stoic man in front of you, the one that made it all happen. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before you can process it, your legs have moved on their own, rapidly closing the short distance between you. You throw your arms around him, enveloping him in a hug as you let the tears fall freely from your eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stiffens for a second, unused to the action, but slowly raises one hand and places it on the back of your head in comfort. Eren looks on dumbfounded at the sight as you cry into Levi’s shoulder, staining his cape with your tears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you. Thank you for everything.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He clears his throat, conflicted with the way his mild discomfort gets overshadowed by a feeling he hadn’t experienced in years. He hadn’t received a hug in so long he’d almost forgotten how it felt. Though vaguely foreign, it’s not unpleasant at all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There is no urge to push you away. No sudden need to lift his hand from your soft hair. If anything, he finds himself wishing you were holding him tighter. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t thank me for dooming you, brat. It was the least I could do to help.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your arms tighten around him, silently obliging to his unspoken wish as you shake your head, pulling him closer. You were doomed from the start but now, thanks to him, it would be worth it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My decisions are my own. No one has doomed me except for myself. You helped save the one person I have left in my life and I will be forever grateful.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slowly, you release him, straightening yourself up as you dry your tears with the back of your hand. A small tingle of shame climbs up your spine as you realize you may have crossed a boundary with your actions, but you can’t bring yourself to care. He can punish you for it later if he wishes, make you clean the entire house if he wants.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You excuse yourself, meaning to write a response as quickly as possible as you rush up the stairs, Eren trailing behind you to help. He gives Levi a strange glance over his shoulder before he leaves, still puzzled over the scene that just took place then follows you up the rest of the way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once Levi is left alone, he exhales thickly, frowning as he considers his disappointment when you detangled your arms from around his frame. His chest still feels warm, the ghost of your heartbeat remaining behind. For a second, it almost felt as though it were his own.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taking a long drink of tea, he shakes his head. He must be more tired than usual to entertain such thoughts. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Chapter 5 is finally up! This one took a bit to write, but I have been planning out more of the story so hopefully, it'll be easier to write the next few. Now that he is intent on training Eren, Levi will be around a lot more :D. I'm trying to balance out all their interactions while still moving the story forward so hopefully you like how this is going so far!</p>
<p>Let me know your thoughts, I always appreciate hearing what you think!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. A New Tempo</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>There are many things you don't know yet, but some of them are becoming clearer.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You should really stop pushing yourself so far,” you chastise, helping Eren clean the wound on his back. </p>
<p>He had refused to back down again during his daily fight session and ended up getting thrown into a particularly prickly flower bed by a spell. Thorns had impaled the delicate skin on his back before you convinced him to rest for the day. </p>
<p>“I will never be ready in time if I keep wasting my time being weak,” he grumbles, voice muffled by the pillow underneath his face. </p>
<p>You had spent many moments like this, him lying facedown on the bed as you took care of his wounds, and, frankly, it was the most entertainment you got lately. Although the ball was quickly approaching, Levi still refused to teach you magic, forcing you to spend your days watching from the sidelines as he threw spell after spell towards Eren. </p>
<p>“You won’t be ready at all if you arrive in pieces, Eren,” you say, rolling your eyes even though you know he can’t see.</p>
<p>“Did you just roll your eyes at me,” he chides.</p>
<p>Or maybe he can.</p>
<p>“I’m just saying I would appreciate it if you didn’t leave me alone with the grumpy old wizard before your time even arrives,” you exhale, tapping him on the back to indicate you are done.</p>
<p>He sits upright, stretching his arms above his head and wincing as the action pulls on his wounds. You make a frustrated sound as you see the small droplets of blood reappear from the strain. You had just cleaned those.</p>
<p>“Grumpy wizard? Right,” he snorts. “You seemed pretty happy to be left alone with him last time.”</p>
<p>Though his words make your face redden, you choose to ignore him and concentrate on cleaning his back once more, a bit more forcefully this time.</p>
<p>“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”</p>
<p>You really didn’t. </p>
<p>You had barely been alone with Levi since he started coming home more often. If anything, the last time had been when he made your ring. You briefly consider Eren may have simply hit his head too hard this time when he fell. </p>
<p>Once you are done cleaning him for the second and hopefully last time, you help him up to prevent him from straining too much. </p>
<p>“There. Now please promise me you will take better care of yourself.”</p>
<p>This time, it is he who rolls his eyes. </p>
<p>“I wasn’t aware you were my mother,” he sulks, oddly upset at the way you worry. </p>
<p>You’ve noticed Eren doesn’t like being fussed over. He is always trying to prove his independence and strength whether it's detrimental to him or not. Maybe it’s because you’ve taken care of your sister so much that you’ve immediately taken to looking after him, but perhaps he is right. You can be a bit much sometimes. </p>
<p>“I apologize,” you concede. “I’m just… I don’t know. It’s the one thing I can do for now.”</p>
<p>Though you say it nonchalantly with a shrug, Eren notices the change in your mood. He turns away from you as he slides his tunic over his torso once more, remaking his hair in a bun when he’s done. </p>
<p>“It’s alright. I’m just not a child,” he mumbles. “Besides, I do need to learn to take care of myself.”</p>
<p>“I know you are not, Eren,” you exhale. All this conversation had succeeded in doing was making you miss your sister even more. </p>
<p>“Do you, though?”</p>
<p>“Excuse me?” You answer, distractedly forgetting what you were just talking about. </p>
<p>“Do you know? That I’m not a child.”</p>
<p>His eyes are narrowed, the green appearing somber in the low light of the room. Though he usually teases you without end, this question is asked in a serious tone. </p>
<p>“Of course I do. Why do you ask?”</p>
<p>“No particular reason,” he relents, turning away from you once more. “We should get started on cleaning for the day, it is almost supper time.”</p>
<p>“But we just cleaned yesterday!” You complain as you chase him out the door, walking down the stairs with him. “There can’t possibly be any dust yet unless you’ve refused to tell me about the magical properties of spontaneously generated dirt in this house.”</p>
<p>Eren chuckles at your joke, settling back into his usual self. He’d grown to accept he couldn’t stay cross at you for long. </p>
<p>“No, the dirt isn’t magical, but Master Ackerman is having guests over later tonight so he’ll want the place to be cleaner than usual.”</p>
<p>“Eren,” you start, crossing your arms as he hands you a broom, “it is an impossibility to make this place even cleaner than it is now.”</p>
<p>You refuse to clean a place with a floor you could eat off. Especially one you’ve tirelessly slaved over just the day prior. </p>
<p>“Fine,” he grunts, stopping before he can finish tying a bandana around his head, “what do you suggest we do instead? Mind you, I will die swearing I begged you to clean.”</p>
<p>“That is perfectly fine by me!” You smile, happily placing all cleaning supplies down. “As to what to do instead…”</p>
<p>You hum, thinking over the many things you’ve wanted to learn. You try your luck with the most pressing one, despite knowing the answer before you even ask. </p>
<p>“How about you teach me some magic?”</p>
<p>“Absolutely not,” he says with a snort, “do I look like I want to die?”</p>
<p>You knew he would refuse, but it was worth a try. </p>
<p>“Didn’t you just say you were going to, just a second ago?” You mock but change your request all the same. “How about fighting? Levi mentioned we’d be trained on it as well.”</p>
<p>He looks at you as though you’re insane, mouth open in disbelief.</p>
<p>“Do you not understand that if any harm befalls you in my care, Master Levi will have my head?”</p>
<p>“What am I supposed to do then? Read until my eyes fall out? There isn’t much for me to do here, you know.”</p>
<p>It is a complaint you’ve made more than once. One that always falls on deaf ears. </p>
<p>You’ve read all the books of interest in the library so far. Everything from alchemy to transfiguration. Though at first they felt like an exciting secret waiting to be discovered, you quickly learned it was near impossible to understand their teachings without putting them to practice. </p>
<p>It’s not like you resent them for putting your training off, you know making Eren be prepared for his vow is the priority. It’s simply that you’re unused to being still for so long and it’s making you increasingly and dangerously bored. </p>
<p>There had to be something of use this man could teach you that would get none of you in trouble. Especially with the ball coming up. Maybe…</p>
<p>“Say, Eren?”</p>
<p>You don’t want to ask. You have avoided the topic as much as you can, but even that is more appealing than cleaning the house anew. </p>
<p>“Yes?”</p>
<p>“How about you teach me how to dance?”</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>“Watch your step. Right, now to the left. On the floor, Viola, not my left foot.”</p>
<p>This was not going as planned. </p>
<p>When you first asked him to teach you, nearly an hour ago, he had been excited. Eren’s eyes had lit up like they hadn’t in days and he had immediately gone to find a dusty old record player. Several waltzes later and you were sure his feet were now in worse condition than his back. </p>
<p>“It’s pointless, Eren, I am thoroughly uncoordinated.”</p>
<p>Yet, he refused to give up. </p>
<p>“I told you, anyone can dance. You just need the right partner.”</p>
<p>“Well, whose fault is it that I’m failing now, then?” You murmur, smiling at his immediate laughter following your joke. </p>
<p>“Point taken. However, you are getting better. You’ve only stepped on me thrice in the past minute,” he praised, albeit with a teasing tone. </p>
<p>It goes on for a while, the swaying of your bodies across the room to the beat of the violins. Though you are no dancing master, it gets easier to avoid hurting him as time goes on. </p>
<p>“How much longer will we dance for? I’m exhausted and my feet hurt!” </p>
<p>Not only are your legs tired, but your arms are feeling sore from remaining in the same position for so long. Your head is starting to spin as well from all the turns. </p>
<p>“Already? Balls last for hours, you know. Besides, they can’t be worse off than mine.”</p>
<p>Despite dismissing your complaints at first, Eren stops to turn the music off, leaving you to sink into a chair. You rub your tired arms, soothing the pain and willing the blood to flow. </p>
<p>“So who are these people who are visiting us?” You ask, trying to change the topic. Maybe learning magic would have been easier. </p>
<p>“Masters Hange and Erwin. They are court wizards as well and very important to Master Levi,” he explains. </p>
<p>Eren rarely drops titles despite their wordiness. Would he expect you to call him something different after taking his vow? You wrinkle the nose as the thought. </p>
<p>“Hmm, the names sound familiar. Why are they visiting?”</p>
<p>“Something to do with preparing for the ball. They have responsibilities they need to fulfill to the king. I think it has something to do with the nobles and making sure the magical army remains funded by them. It’s one of the reasons Master Levi hates social events. All the politics involved.”</p>
<p>That sounds like him alright. In the time you’ve lived here, nobles have come once or twice for help but, despite being home, Levi tends to ask Eren to lie on his behalf and send them to a different wizard. You’ve only seen him help commonfolk so far. </p>
<p>“How does he get away with that? You’ve mentioned before that he avoids summons sometimes. Wouldn’t that be impossible with the hold the king has on his heart?”</p>
<p>Eren hesitates before answering, picking up a cup from the counter to give his hands something to hold onto. He knows the answer to your question, in a sense. The sacrifices Levi had made for the king’s victory, though unwilling, were greater than most. However, it wasn’t his story to share. </p>
<p>“Master Levi is known as our kingdom’s most powerful wizard. As such, he’s been asked to do many things no mere human could withstand. The small amount of freedom he is given in exchange is a small reprieve from the orders he’s been forced to carry out.”</p>
<p>He observes the translucent cup closely, turning it in his hand as he recalls the first time he heard the tale. The memory plays out like a scene from a storybook as he looks at the reflection in the glass. </p>
<p>“Is that why he is the way he is?” You voice, noticing the way his eyes look far away. </p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“You know. He seems like such a kind-hearted man. He took me in when he could have said no, and don’t tell me it’s because of the wizard code or some stupid thing like that because I know he had no reason to let me in through the door. He helped my sister as well, and he treats you like a son. Yet…” you trail off, thinking of the curious man you can’t seem to figure out. </p>
<p>“Yet?”</p>
<p>“Yet he still pretends to be cold. He keeps us at a distance despite the way he clearly cares. He refuses to open up and always looks exhausted with life. I don’t understand.”</p>
<p>“You know,” murmurs Eren, turning towards you once more. “Most people simply assume he’s a jerk. What makes you so sure he cares?” </p>
<p>Despite the words, you can tell he agrees with you. If anything, he is curious as to why you care. Not many take the time to get to know his teacher. Eren himself was afraid of him at first, buying into the stoic facade until he learned to interpret the little nuances of the wizard’s personality. </p>
<p>“You must be joking. He’s always looking out for you. He offered up his life to relieve you of your duties and did the same for me despite barely knowing me. Not just anybody would do something like that.”</p>
<p>“Of course not. But we are his apprentices, so it’s only natural he would care, isn’t it?” He raised an eyebrow at you questioningly, wondering just how much you’ve learned about them both in this short amount of time. </p>
<p>“I doubt that is the case. Besides, you haven’t answered my question. Did someone hurt him in the past? There must be a reason his soul looks so torn.”</p>
<p>Eren walks up towards you, looking down into your eyes with an intensity that makes you shrink. </p>
<p>“Why do you care so much?” He asks, crossing his arms. He leans against the counter, pondering over the few interactions between the two of you he’s seen. </p>
<p>It’s a valid question. One you don’t quite know how to answer. He’d taken you in and helped save your sister’s life, but that didn’t mean you had to take a personal interest in his life. </p>
<p>When had he started plaguing your thoughts?</p>
<p>You had first started to feel curiosity towards him when you saw the pictures on his shelf, the quiet memories illuminated by candlelight. </p>
<p>Or maybe it was moments later, as you shared your heartbeat with him while wondering at the silence coming from his chest, as well as how someone without a heart could make yours beat that way. It was all incredibly peculiar. </p>
<p>“I’m just curious is all,” is the answer you give instead. “Remember I am new to this world.”</p>
<p>“Right. I am sure that it all,” he snorts, unconvinced. “But anyway, that is something that is not mine to sh-”</p>
<p>“-to share, I know, I know,” you interrupt. Many of your questions were answered with that same phrase. </p>
<p>Knowing that is the most information you will get out of him for now, you change the topic instead.</p>
<p>“Will they be bringing their apprentices as well? Hange and Erwin, I mean.” </p>
<p>Eren’s eyes light up once more, suddenly animated as he considers the possibility. </p>
<p>“I sure hope so! I haven’t seen my friends in quite a while. I’m sure you’d like to meet them too.”</p>
<p>“I definitely would,” you admit. It gets lonely just the three of you. Two, most of the time, since Levi stays inside his study whenever he isn’t teaching Eren. “Who do they teach?”</p>
<p>“That would be Armin and Mikasa. Hange trains Armin for the most part since he has a gift for enhancing weaponry and creating magical items that regular soldiers can use. Mikasa is under the tutelage of Erwin because of her high combat abilities. She is truly awe-inspiring to watch.”</p>
<p>“Is she now?” you tease, poking Eren’s arm. This is the first time you’ve heard of him admiring anybody other than the grumpy wizard upstairs. “Tell me, Eren. Do you enjoy watching her?”</p>
<p>He is unbothered by your mocking, comfortable in his love for his friends.</p>
<p>“I don’t know. You tell me, Viola. Is Master Levi enticing to watch as well when he fights? You seem particularly intrigued whenever he does.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you immediately retort with a huff. “Perhaps the dancing and all those spins got to your head.”</p>
<p>“Maybe,” he says with a shrug of his shoulders. “At any rate, I will introduce you to them if they show up in the end.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, Eren,” you sigh, looking around the room as you decide what to do next. </p>
<p>Cleaning was out of the question, especially after how sore you felt now. Maybe you could convince Eren to teach you other things, as long as they didn’t relate to Levi?</p>
<p>“You look like you want to ask a question,” Eren guesses. </p>
<p>It’s not a farfetched thought, you are always asking him about things, used to chattering the day away with your sister. The house can get too silent for your liking sometimes.</p>
<p>“Nothing in particular,” you dismiss, but he knows the look on your face, having seen it plenty before. </p>
<p>“You know,” he starts, trying to keep the conversation going for your sake, “I met Armin and Mikasa even before we both became apprentices. They are more like my childhood friends.”</p>
<p>“Really? I thought you said you came to live here really young. You know… after…”</p>
<p>“After my father passed. It’s alright, you can say it.”</p>
<p>Your heart compresses painfully in your chest. Losing his only remaining family at such a young age. It must have been hard. </p>
<p>“Was your mother a crafter as well, Eren?”</p>
<p>He gives you a curious look, one that betrays the sadness at just how little you know. You must really love your sister to jump into this lifestyle while unaware of the full range of sacrifices. Especially the one people hate the most to make. </p>
<p>“She was not… she couldn’t have been, you know.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” You question, a dark, foreboding weight settling around you.</p>
<p>Eren sighs defeatedly, his fists clenching until you can see the white. He knows you deserve to know, he just despises knowing you didn’t get the choice. He nods towards the table, wordlessly asking you to sit as he does the same.</p>
<p>“Viola, do you know why there are fewer female crafters out there?” Eren avoids your eyes, staring at the wall behind you.</p>
<p>“I figured it had to do with the training, being a soldier may not sound as appealing to women as it does to men, but I know next to nothing about magic as I’ve come to realize,” you admit. </p>
<p>It’s true. So much of what you heard before was rumors, whispered in dark alleyways by people who were broken yet still refused to join the craft.<br/>“There is another reason. A more… biological one. You see, magic changes your body. It gives you strength, makes you powerful, but it also poisons you from the inside, soaking up your humanity in exchange.”</p>
<p>“But you’ve already told me that,” you start, only to be cut off by his raised hand. He isn’t done explaining.</p>
<p>“There is more to it. You see, my family is a bit of an anomaly. My parents met when they were very young, even before my father dedicated his heart to the cause. My mother wanted a family, and so she begged my father not to do it, all the while he yearned for knowledge. He wanted to try and understand how magic changed a person from the inside out.”</p>
<p>He slowly drags his gaze across the table, exhaling before he lifts his head up to look at you. Though his body is tense, it appears to be coated in exhaustion rather than anger. This is a difficult conversation to have. </p>
<p>“They eventually reached a compromise. I was conceived and, once my birth was deemed healthy, my father went on to declare his life to the king. Do you understand what I’m saying?”</p>
<p>You do. The pressure increase in your chest is testimony enough to that. The salty sting in your eyes, the increase of tempo in your precious heart. But you want to hear him say it, to spell out for you the thing you weren’t even aware you had given up yet, and so you shake your head, willing him to speak.</p>
<p>“Viola, people touched by magic can never have children.”</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>It makes what little you’ve learned fall into place. Why no one is born with magic, something you had failed to notice before. You had initially guessed it was because wizards appeared to be lonely, maybe the absence of a heart made relationships difficult, and children born into the craft were scarce. </p>
<p>How wrong you had been.</p>
<p>The war had killed off so many, children were a blessing everybody celebrated. Of course, the king would order wizards to procreate if it was possible. People trained from a young age into the craft, born with the poison flowing through their veins would be an indispensable asset he would not easily give up. </p>
<p>You should have known.</p>
<p>Did you even want children? You weren’t sure. It was not a decision you had thought to make so early but one you hoped to breach with whoever your partner turned out to be someday. Not that meeting anybody was a possibility anymore either way. </p>
<p>Your feet had carried you out the door as your ears ignored Eren calling your name. One step and then another, one tear flowing right after the next down your face and before you knew it, you were down to the river. The one you had seen through Levi’s window. </p>
<p>The bright sunlight and blissfully unbothered nature around you clash with the tumult inside your chest, the sinking dread of having signed away more than you bargained for once more. It fights against the voice inside your head that repeatedly assures you it was the only way. </p>
<p>It’s okay you silly girl, you didn’t even want children either way.</p>
<p>You didn’t, right?</p>
<p>You never stopped to consider it, if you’re being honest. You had been taking care of your sister for a while now. Even before she got sick, once your parents were out of the picture, all your effort went towards making sure she had a good life.</p>
<p>Picking up extra shifts so she could buy the fabric for her apprenticeship, staying up all night to ensure the food you had would last the remainder of the week. In a way, you had already experienced what having a baby could bring, hadn’t you? </p>
<p>You had given all your love, the entirety of your heart, in more than one way, to another person. There was no need to have a child of your own, was there?</p>
<p>You sink to the ground, close to the stream, and pull your legs close to your chest, hugging them for comfort. The water reflects your conflicted emotions back at you, the ripples distorting your features as the wind shuffles the leaves of the tree branch above your head.</p>
<p>“There you are, the brat has been looking everywhere for you.”</p>
<p>You refuse to look at him as he takes a seat beside you, staring straight onto the other side of the stream at the forest ahead. </p>
<p>“He told me what happened,” he mutters, “you know even less than we thought.”</p>
<p>“That’s only because you and all the other damned people involved in this so-called craft refuse to enlighten us foolish mortals,” you say, hugging your legs tighter.</p>
<p>You know it’s unfair to take out your anger on him, especially when you hadn’t even realized how bitter you felt about it all, but it’s all you can do at the moment to keep yourself from running away.<br/>“That’s not up to us at all, and you know it,” he answers, voice silkily steady and completely unoffended by your statement.</p>
<p>“Is there anything that is up to you?” you whisper, grief starting to replace the previously overwhelming rage. </p>
<p>Levi snorts and you feel his piercing gaze on your shoulder. Still, you refuse to look at him.</p>
<p>“The offer still stands if you regret your choic-”</p>
<p>“-I’m not taking your life, you senseless, unreasonable man. Don’t worry, you have many years of sulking ahead of you. As far as I’m concerned, at least.” </p>
<p>“Says the reckless, uncoordinated brat,” he murmurs, a hint of amusement in his tone.</p>
<p>Wait, uncoordinated?</p>
<p>Your head snaps to him only to notice the smirk on his face. He saw.</p>
<p>“I’d appreciate it if my apprentice could still walk in time for the ball.”</p>
<p>“You weren’t supposed to see!” your body has turned towards him of its own volition, your right hand digging into the ground as you urge your face not to let your embarrassment show. </p>
<p>“And you were supposed to be cleaning,” he answers, raising an eyebrow at you. </p>
<p>“You really can be insufferable, you know. Hiding in your room all day and coming out only to order us around.” </p>
<p>You don’t truly feel that way, but he is letting you take your feelings out on him and it is really helping.</p>
<p>“You signed up for that the second you walked through the door. What did you expect, brat? Bedtime stories and head pats?” </p>
<p>He stretches out on the grass, lying down as crosses his arms behind him, resting his head on top. It makes the shadows of the branch above you dance on his face, the peeking light illuminating his silver eyes every once in a while. When your heart flips in your chest at the sight, you push the feeling down. </p>
<p>It had been so long since you saw other men you couldn’t help but stare at the beautiful man beside you. He was almost passable when his usual frown was gone. Almost.</p>
<p>You curse the heat rising from your neck as you remember the feel of his chest under your fingertips, the missing heartbeat you could almost imagine if you tried hard enough. </p>
<p>“I don’t need any of that,” the words are rushed, stumbling out of your mouth as you try to distract yourself from the trespassing thoughts. “Knowing the people I live with now would be nice though, don’t you agree?”</p>
<p>He gazes up at you, noticing the blush on your neck. Though his hand aches to reach out and feel the warmth, he holds back. Why would somebody as beautifully untouched by magic as yourself chose to curse her body like him? He would never understand. </p>
<p>“There isn’t much to know,” he shrugs, letting his gaze unashamedly remain on you.</p>
<p>“I beg to differ,” you huff, lying down as well, if anything to make it easier not to look at him. “You know many things about me yet I know nothing about you.”</p>
<p>“Oh really? What do I know aside from your lack of dancing skills and your annoyingly troublesome attitude?” </p>
<p>His body gives off no heat, making goosebumps appear on your left side at his proximity, yet you don’t mind. If anything, you get a little closer, wanting to share your own warmth. Maybe that is why he’s always in such a horrid mood, it must be awful to always be so cold.</p>
<p>“First off, I’d like to see you try and dance better, for all I know the reason you hate the court so much is your own horrifyingly appalling skills. Second, you know so much about me, Levi! You know why I came here and how important family is to me. You know of my ambitions and, based on the large amount of jasmine tea that magically appeared on the counter the other day after I complimented it once, my likes as well.”</p>
<p>You hear him hum in annoyance, thinking you hadn’t noticed. Of course, you had. Eren was sweet, but he wasn’t the best at picking up on small nuances, and several things you’d admitted to liking once or twice had started appearing around the house without you needing to purchase them.</p>
<p> A freshly baked loaf of rye bread, a brand new diary when you sadly exclaimed yours was full, even a tiny vial of perfume you had found on your nightstand one day, magically enhanced to smell like a different flower each day. </p>
<p>“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”</p>
<p>“Sure you do. But I can let you pretend otherwise if you’d prefer. Perhaps we have a ghost in the house, one that replenishes Eren’s snack hoard when he runs out and leaves presents for me.”</p>
<p>“You really are one annoying woman, you know that, right?” He closes his eyes, enjoying the temporary absence of the chill from your proximity. </p>
<p>You laugh, finally feeling back to your normal self.</p>
<p>“Well, you may as well get used to it, you grumpy old man.” </p>
<p>“Like I have a choice,” he answers back, but there is no malice coating his words. If anything, he sounds amused.</p>
<p>“You do not. So again, I would appreciate knowing more about you. Or I could keep listing the things that magically appear around our house, your choice.” </p>
<p>Even with his eyes closed, he can somehow hear your smile. At this moment, enjoying a calm he hadn’t in years, Levi is sure if he had a heartbeat, it would be hammering against his chest. You are close enough that his side has warmed up considerably, making him feel almost human again. He vaguely remembers feeling warm when you hugged him that day as well. </p>
<p>“You get five questions,” he concedes. It’s the least he can do.</p>
<p>“Can I ask them anytime, or does it have to be now?” you voice. You didn’t expect him to actually listen to your request.</p>
<p>“Whenever you want, and make that four now.” His smirk deepens, replacing some of the harshness of his features with a relaxed facade.</p>
<p>“That is not fair! I wasn’t aware that would count,” you sit up in exasperation, looking down at him with a pout. “I didn’t even get the chance to think of something!”</p>
<p>Levi frowns, already feeling the chill crawl up his arm once more. He wishes you would lie back down, not that he’d admit that to you out loud. </p>
<p>“Not my problem, you should have been more careful about your words.”</p>
<p>“Fine. I trust you will be honest since you gave me such a limitation. Tell me about your family.”</p>
<p>You’ve been curious about it from the start. He knows about your sister and you know about Eren’s parents now. Yet you know nothing about where the man beside you comes from.</p>
<p>“Figures you’d waste another question on such a shitty subject. I don’t have one.”</p>
<p>“Yet you must have had one in the past. Unless the spirits of grumpiness and cleanliness decided to have a child,” you offer, hoping he’ll take the bait. He hasn’t noticed you didn’t actually                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              ask.<br/>Levi’s frown deepens, making his face return to the usual scowl. You much prefer it when he smirks, even if it isn’t a full smile. It softens his face, making him look more approachable. </p>
<p>“I… don’t know much about my family if I’m being honest. I was raised by my mother until she passed away. Then my uncle Kenny took me in, only to sell me off to the king. There isn’t much else to it.”</p>
<p>“He sold you?!” you exclaim, inadvertently placing a hand on his shoulder. It makes his eyes snap open with the sudden touch, warming him up like an electric current. “How could he do something like that?”</p>
<p>Levi remains still, not wanting to startle you into moving, and speaks with slow, precise words. His past has long since stopped bothering him too much. </p>
<p>“It was a choice he made, one I’d rather not dwell too much on. I can’t change the past.”</p>
<p>“Perhaps, but don’t you ever wish you hadn’t had a different life?”</p>
<p>You lie back down, on your side this time, and hold your head up with your arm as you look at him. You resist the urge to smooth out his frown with your hand, something you’d do to your sister all the time. Something tells you he wouldn’t appreciate the action.</p>
<p>“How can I wish for something I’ve never had? I was far too young to know what a normal life would have been like either way.”</p>
<p>You hum, unconvinced. The look in his eyes is honest if a little solemn. The intensity of his gaze is making your heart do that annoying dance again, distracting you from your thoughts. </p>
<p>“It may be a little overrated,” you admit after a pause, “ but it helps to have people to share it with.”</p>
<p>“Such as?” he presses, glad you decided to lay back down in the end.</p>
<p>“Maybe I should limit your questions as well. For me, my sister. The two of you as well.”</p>
<p>He pauses, considering your statement. You were right in a way, life wasn’t as depressing when Hange and Erwin were around. It could even be pleasant at times. He could remember several occasions he’d felt at peace when sharing moments with others.</p>
<p>Levi turns to face you, lifting a hand to ruffle your hair.</p>
<p>“I thought you said no head pats,” you muse, but lean into his touch all the same. </p>
<p>“And I thought you’d be fair with your questions instead of trying to bend the rules,” he answers, letting you know he was aware of your trick all along.</p>
<p>“In my defense, you tricked me first.”</p>
<p>He sits up, letting his hand remain on your head. You give him your brightest smile, one that warms him up more than even touch had before. He regards you with curiosity, wondering what it is about you he feels so entranced by, unaware you are just as bewitched as he is. </p>
<p>“Hmm. Annoying little brat.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>First off, let me thank my amazing beta char746 for their amazing work! This chapter would have been error-ridden without them &lt;3 </p>
<p>We finally have a new chapter! I had been trying to focus on finishing the first arc of ABOBW and now that it finally happened, I was happy to get back into the mood for this story! I am hoping updates can be a bit more frequent from here on as I get better at working on both stories simultaneously! I may or may not already have an idea for a third story as well but that will have to wait until both of my current works are done or close to it. </p>
<p>What did you think of the new chapter? The banter in between Reader and Levi as well as with Eren is so fun to write! They are all getting closer to each other and I can't wait to continue their stories. I hope you are all having a great day! :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. A Variety of Secrets</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The silent thoughts around our heads, the truths that have been buried</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Note: Manga character spoiler near the end of this chapter. Inspiration was taken from a manga event that has yet to happen and could contain possible spoilers.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Though Levi leaves shortly after your conversation, he allows you to remain, thinking over the things he said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You realize it’s been a while since you last had time to yourself and so you bask in the fading sunlight until the water is tinged orange and red with the approaching sunset, the fleeting warmth evaporating like tendrils into the fragrant air. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You didn’t think to grab your cape as you rushed out the door, and so you heed the goosebumps crawling up your skin as a sign to head back, knowing there will be visitors to attend to soon. You should probably apologize to Eren as well, he must be worried he scared you away. Not that it was a completely false assumption. Had Levi not intervened, you may have run for the hills.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>No, you wouldn’t. You’re not that sort of person.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You sit back up, looking at the setting sun with uncertainty as it paints your skin with its glow. It flushes your skin in a way you know will never happen again soon. Once the king takes your heart, your body will be nothing but a cold and empty husk.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Would you still have made the choices you did, had you known all the repercussions? Left your sister alone to try your luck at convincing a wizard to take you in? Devoted your body and soul to a cause you didn’t truly believe in? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The answer is still a resounding yes. Your love for your family surpasses your fears and it will continue to do so no matter what you learn. </span>
  
  <span>If anything, your family has recently grown by two members. But it still scares you nonetheless.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No partner to share your life with. No children to raise and shower with your love. What is next?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s not like you knew what you wanted for your future already, you rationalize. You barely knew what tomorrow would bring. But it would have been nice to have the choice all the same. At least you still had the most important person to you, safe and sound. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The fact that she’ll get to experience everything that’s been rudely forced from your unwilling hands so far gives you a sense of peace. You are certain she will find love someday. Maybe have children of her own if she so wishes. In the end, you sacrificed your future for hers and knowing she will get the opportunities you gave in exchange will have to be enough. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Forcing yourself to stand up, you start walking back towards the house, promising yourself you’ll be back to the stream at some point. Maybe on a warmer day, there doesn’t seem to be anyone around either way so you can likely take a swim without worrying about anyone spotting you. You could even take a moonlight dip perhaps. The thought is comforting as you approach your new home, pausing for a second when you see the silhouettes through the window.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sounds of loud chatter coming from behind the door alert you that the visitors have arrived, making you feel a little bit guilty at having been away for so long instead of helping Eren prepare. You take a second to brush down your clothes, pulling stray leaves from your hair as you do; Levi would hate it if his apprentices looked less than pristine. The thought of displeasing him bothers you for some troublesome reason. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The realization makes you reconsider your actions, briefly considering placing them back in your hair if anything to annoy him a little, but you decide against it in the end. He’d been kind to spend time with you earlier and you didn’t want to repay the action by being a brat. Not that he’d ever call you anything else.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You start walking forward again, nearly falling on your back when the door opens with force towards you. An excited-looking woman materializes from the space, looking down at you through the thick glass of her spectacles as they accentuate the size of her already wide eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi! She’s back! I told you I heard someone!” She reaches out an arm and yanks you upright without any further decorum, leaning in closer as she inspects your face. She gets a bit too close for comfort, scrutinizing your features with unmistakable glee.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> “Why didn’t you tell me she was pretty?! Erwin, Short Stack has been keeping her a secret! I told you there was something off!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She doesn’t give you a chance to respond or argue, dragging you along behind her into the bright light of the living room. Eren is seated in between the people you assume to be Armin and Mikasa. Meanwhile, Levi is shaking his head as he looks at the ceiling, looking exasperated yet somehow still calm. He must be used to this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A tall, blonde man with striking blue eyes sits beside him, inquisitively glancing at you with interest as he leans his head forward where it rests on top of his large hands. He is impeccably dressed in a luxurious-looking dark blue cape that accentuates his gaze and a military-looking outfit underneath. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A sword rests against his chair which you assume usually rests at his hip. In contrast, the person who opened the door looks underdressed in her simple shirt and pants, face framed with wild and unruly brown hair. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The pull on your arm slackens as the peculiar woman turns around, seemingly remembering to introduce themselves for the first time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Pardon my manners! My name is Hange Zoe!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She holds out a hand despite having let you go just a second ago, yet when you reach out to grab it, she pulls you in for a hug instead. You immediately decide you like her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve been wanting to meet you for a while! There are so few women enlisting into the craft lately! Let alone any that can put up with that grumpy man over there. You must be really something to not have walked out the door yet!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi merely grunts in response, glaring at Hange while she starts pulling you again, leading you towards the other man at the table whose face is now adorned with an endearing smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This here is Erwin! Don’t let his stature frighten you, he is absolutely harmless. Think of him as a massive but non-threatening older brother.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin allows a small laugh to escape his lips, accentuating the statement Hange made. A quick glance towards Levi confirms your suspicions that he doesn’t agree, eyes slightly narrowed as he picks up his usual cup of tea with his fingertips. How he manages not to drop it every time is still a mystery to you. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Pleased to make your acquaintance, Viola. I trust your funding came through in a timely manner, yes? Levi was painstakingly clear about rushing their processing including bone-breaking threats should I fail to succeed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You notice Levi aim an annoyed kick towards him under the table, surprised when Erwin doesn’t as much as flinch when the contact lands. Eren had mentioned he was head of the magical military for the king, and his build definitely attests to that claim. You can see him standing proud on a battlefield, a powerful, unbudging mountain as battles unfold around him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I will take that as a yes,” he turns to your disgruntled tutor, acknowledging the kick, “Thank you for confirming it, Levi.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>None of them seem bothered by your surprised expression at the display, further proving Eren’s statement that they are all friends and cementing the fact this is how they usually act around each other. It is only then that you realize you have yet to introduce yourself, having stayed quiet this whole time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You clear your throat, trying to dislodge the astonishment at the people in front of you while you speak.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello, both. I’m Viola Reader, but you seem to already know that,” unsure of what else to say, you glance towards Eren, noticing the others at the table all looking at you with interest as well, making you feel uncomfortable. “It’s always nice to see some new faces around here. I was getting tired of Levi’s smiles,” you banter, trying to break the tension you feel with the first thing that comes to your mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hange snorts, taken with your poor joke, and her loud, carefree laughter illuminates the room. Yes, you definitely like her. From where he sits, Levi glares, scoffing in response. He has yet to speak since you came back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Knowing shorty here, the only other face you see around is Eren’s. Am I wrong?” She teasingly pushes on Levi’s arm, earning another exasperated sigh from him. It is interesting knowing he enjoys their company so much yet all he does is sulk once they’re here.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That would be correct,” you admit, briefly looking at Levi to make sure you don’t offend him in any way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See! I told you, Erwin! All he does is brood around in his room. Not much has changed from our training days, I suppose.” Hange turns to you, holding you by the shoulders this time. It seems personal space is an unknown prospect to her. “Viola, you have my full permission to drag him by the cravat and make him spend time with you both, he could use the distraction.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The ridiculous image materializes in your mind but, before you can entertain it further, Levi decides to finally speak up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oi, with what authority do you make such promises, shitty four eyes? I am sure my apprentices know any attempt they make to fulfill that threat will result in painful circumstances.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hange laughs once more, picking up her drink and looking at you from over the rim.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have my suspicions that won’t be the case,” she promises with a wink. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why don’t you focus on whatever stupid theories you have instead of trying to analyze me, you maniac.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh Levi, what would be the fun in that? My experiments usually don’t talk back to me! It can get lonely, you know?” She reaches out to try and ruffle his hair, only to have her hand rudely slapped away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi crosses his arms, sinking further into his chair as if attempting to disappear from the space. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You try to decide whether it’d be smarter to flee towards the other apprentices in the room, but it is Erwin who interferes this time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about them, Miss Reader. Would you care to indulge me in a conversation about your studies? I am most curious about the way Levi has been training you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That catches your attention, making you frown. Your studies? What studies? You’ve barely done anything but read since you got here. Has Levi kept this hidden from them?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You turn to him with a deepened scowl, asking him for answers with a look, but he ignores your eyes, still immersed in pushing Hange away as she tries to reach for his hair once more. He answers without looking your way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She is certainly making herself busy, don’t worry about that, Commander Eyebrows. But didn’t you two come here to discuss matters more important than my apprentices?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>At least Brat is the better of the nicknames. Not very creative, is he?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It is a dismissal, of that you are sure. You ponder if staying here for longer and calling him out would yield any results, but you know it is unlikely. Clearly, this is something he doesn’t want the others to know. After a brief pause, you give up a frustrated sigh, turning on your heels to walk towards the others instead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>That grumpy, insensitive man. This is not the end of the conversation. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe you will take Hange up on her offer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You collapse into your chair with a huff, vastly annoyed as you turn to look at Eren as you fully intend to complain, but then you remember what happened earlier and force yourself to relax. You owe him an apology after all. He can listen to you curse out your teacher some other time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How are you feeling?” he asks, visibly amused by the previous scene. His cheeks are blushed from whatever it is he is drinking from his teacup and you notice the blond man beside him rapidly conceal a flask. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You briefly consider asking them to share, having had a long day,  but decide against it when the thought of the beverage containing magic crosses your mind. The drink may not be what you think.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Like poisoning a certain someone’s tea stash,” you mutter as you cross your arms, </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“but that is irrelevant. Eren, I wanted to apo-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“-Don’t worry about it,” he interrupts, glancing towards his friends. You understand his meaning immediately. Not now, perhaps some other time, and thus you nod.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Want to introduce us?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You give them a smile, waiting for Eren to speak, but the boy beside him beats him to it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There is no need, all he does lately is ramble on about you so I feel like we’ve met before. My name is Armin.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren punches him in the arm, clearly annoyed, but the girl beside him only sulks. You are immediately reminded of a similar-looking man by both her eye color and her stance. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nice to meet you, Armin. I’m guessing you’re Mikasa?” you guess, trying to catch her eye. Could they be related in some way? No. That is unlikely.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” she voices in a curt manner. Not much of a talker, it seems.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eren has talked so much about you two!” you offer, hoping to lighten the mood. You have a feeling Armin’s statement earlier has bothered her and you want to clear the air.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It somewhat works, making Mikasa’s shoulders lose some of their rigidity. She pauses for a few seconds, then picks up her cup, visibly relaxing a little. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you think about Erwin and Hange?” asks Armin, nodding in their direction. He picks up some of the fresh bread on the table, buttering it up before taking a bite. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They are…. Interesting. Have you been their apprentices for long?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin gives you a nod, reaching for another piece of bread as he explains. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, we started a few years after Eren, but all three of us have been in training pretty much since we were children. It’s best that way, to learn as much as you can. How are you liking working under Master Levi?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You briefly glance at Eren, wondering how much they already know. Hange and Erwin did not seem aware of your delayed training start date and the reminder brings some of your exasperation back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s been interesting,” you start, unsure of how much to say, “I’ve mostly been watching Eren improve his skills.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Armin and Mikasa briefly look at each other from the corner of their eyes, a confused look mirrored on each of their faces. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about your skills though,” questions Mikasa, choosing to speak, “surely you have learned a lot from someone as experienced as Levi.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You turn to Eren once more, cringing a little as you realize your situation is definitely out of the ordinary. You should have known. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She is not being trained yet,” he admits in your stead, voice small as he tries to hide the obvious embarrassment at having postponed your magical education. He still feels guilty knowing the delay is because of him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?!” The ludicrous tone in Mikasa’s response tells you all you need to know. This isn’t meant to happen. “How are you supposed to survive if you have no skills to show from your time with a Master?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Levi wants to focus on Eren to give him the best chances of survival,” you offer, hoping it will be enough to pacify them for now. The irony of making excuses for Levi doesn’t escape you, but the lingering gratefulness you feel towards him overshadows the rest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aren’t you afraid it will affect your own chances though?” Armin looks at Eren even as he asks you this question, torn between feeling happy his friend is being prioritized while also worried for your safety despite having just met.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It is only once you answer that you realize how true your own words ring in your ears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“‘A little, but I also trust Levi in whichever way he decides to approach my training.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something about the stoic-faced grey-eyed grump of a man makes you believe in him fully. Perhaps it is the easy displays of power you’ve seen from him. Maybe it’s the quiet displays of affection he keeps making for you both. Mayhaps you are just being stupid. Whatever the reason may be, you stand behind your declaration.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Interesting. Master Levi does have a way as a mentor, I must admit. If you believe in him so strongly, I am sure you will be okay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mikasa doesn’t seem convinced by Armin’s words at all, lips pressed into a thin line, but you appreciate his gesture all the same. Trying to shift the focus from yourself, you strive to remember the bits and pieces Eren has shared about his friends.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mikasa, Eren has mentioned you are amazing with a sword.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You don’t ask as much as state it, feeling happy when you see the slight reddening of her face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am good enough to help if need be,” she mumbles, proud of her skills while also disliking being put on the spot. At least you have that in common.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I would love to see you fight sometime,” you admit, leaning forward as you rest your head atop your hands in a  show of your interest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You truly do love watching Eren and Levi practice sword fighting. There is something both elegant and beautiful in the way they turn, moving lightly on their feet as though carried by air. Almost like a dance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not the way you dance though. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure. Anytime.” Her answers are clipped and to the point, unwavering once she gets her thoughts across. It’s different from what you’ve grown used to with Eren, but you like it all the same.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A comfortable silence ensues, leading you all to eat as you try to listen to the conversation happening between the three other people in the room. It’s not entirely successful, likely due to some sort of silencing spell.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin is still listening only as Hange and Levi trade ideas back and forth. The word “ball” comes up a few times though whether it refers to the dance coming up or a crude joke from Levi, you can’t be sure. The rest is only mumbles. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hange notices you all starting, stopping to give you an excited wave and a smile. In front of her, Levi rolls his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They really have known each other for quite a while, haven’t they?” you voice, amazed at how comfortable they look around each other. Anyone else may have found the sight strange, but the way they get along matches their personalities perfectly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Several years. They’ve always been friends for as long as I can remember.” Eren’s tone is warm, his fondness of all three people evident. “It’s nice knowing some people still watch out for each other’s backs, regardless of their fear of the king.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” You ask, despite knowing the answer already. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The three people conversing at the table may be powerful, but they have no control over their lives. Not where it comes to their decisions at least. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wizards tend to keep to themselves,” sighs Armin. “It’s dangerous making friends when you know you can be forced to turn against them any day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That hasn’t stopped you three either though, has it?” You point out with a smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You’re liking the king less and less as the days pass by. This is likely why Levi curses royalty every chance he gets.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” murmurs Mikasa. “It hasn’t. No matter what the king says, I would rather have my heart ripped to shreds than hurt you two.” She directs the last part towards Armin and Eren, focusing on a particular pair of green eyes. In your ears, the statement sounds like a promise.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You can relate. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Here you are, willingly giving the king your heart on a silver platter as well. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two men’s reactions to Mikasa’s declaration are complete opposites. Where Armin looks touched, if a bit worried, Eren seems to completely reject the sentiment, frowning as he refuses the idea of his friend risking anything at all in his name.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It will never come to that. I can assure you, I will take care of myself,” he states, his belief in himself shining through. It is a mixture of stubbornness and faith that coats Eren’s every move, personifying his intentions whenever he acts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mikasa looks down at her hands, trying to hide her hurt at the reaction. She hadn’t meant to offend. It makes you wonder how you ended up living with the two most clueless men in the entire kingdom. Could they not see the effect they had on others sometimes?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think you are very brave to think that way,” you tell her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The strength she continues to radiate, even with every short sentence she speaks is admirable to you. Where some people declare their love loud and proud, Mikasa displays it in silence, like a pleasant breeze. You can tell how much she cares about her friends despite hiding the fondness behind her quiet demeanor. It is her answer to your statement though, that makes you relate to her the most. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Only as brave as I need to be. We are all scared children in the end.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It brings on a different type of silence to the table, one that reminds you of the dangers of the position you have all been forced into in one way or another. While choice may have played a role in all of your lives, how forced were your hands when you offered up your souls? You all made the decisions you had to make, no matter the reason. All of you from different places, different paths converging into a single, destructive end. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not scared,” professes Eren stubbornly, yet you can hear it in his voice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The slight waver, the pause in between each word. It is the same fear you’ve tried to hide yourself before, each time you remind yourself of the importance of your choice. Nevertheless, you all accept his statement, mirroring the feelings inside your chests as your hearts beat their numbered beats in sync. Maybe it’s easier to pretend being brave.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well. I am,” you whisper, admitting it out loud for the first time. It makes your chest feel lighter hearing the words spoken. You haven’t known these people for long, but you feel safe with them, able to admit what you think. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren reaches out a hand towards yours, meaning to comfort you but you pull away almost as though you’ve been burned. You don’t mean to avoid his sympathy as much as make him understand nothing can help the feelings crashing around each other inside your chest. After all, what is a hand giving yours warmth if not a temporary relief now that you know the truth? It changes nothing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The desperation welling in your heart takes you by surprise, holding on to you like a terrified child. It takes you a second to compose yourself, softening your features until you look like your old self once more. The one that isn’t afraid. The one that fully believes in the choices she’ made. The one you feel most comfortable with. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The one you are slowly trying to become. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sor-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“-Don’t,” it’s Armin who murmurs a response this time, blue eyes clouded over with the distant thoughts of freedom he’s purposely given up on. “We all are. We just got better at pretending over time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Though Eren crosses his arms in response, relentless in keeping up his facade, Mikasa sighs. You look upon all of their faces, recognizing the mirrored expressions you’ve seen in your reflection every day, right before you can talk yourself into continuing this path. Does it truly get easier with time?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You briefly wonder if there is a way out of this vow. Surely it must not be as binding as it sounds? It’s a small, battered hope that is crushed before it can even take flight. You know if people as powerful as Levi are still bound to the king, there must surely be no way out. And yet you dare hope.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Despite knowing the futility of your thoughts, you make a note to try and find some more information in the library later. There surely must be something regarding how the vow started, maybe reading further into it may give you a hint or two on how it all works. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>-</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The night comes to an end several hours later once Hange and Erwin stand to leave, making you realize as you mimic their actions just how tired you feel.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your eyes are heavy, knees stiff from sitting down for so long in the kitchen chairs. You stretch out your arms above your head, loosening the muscles as you walk towards the guests to say goodbye. You never did get to hear what it was they were discussing, but the way Levi looks at Eren and you both makes you think you’ll find out soon. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>While Erwin holds out a hand, clutching yours tightly as a farewell, Hange throws her arms around your frame, squeezing you as she whispers in your ear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Take care of our shorty, will you? He can be a bit of a handful sometimes, but I promise he isn’t that bad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You look up at her with a tired smile, silently uttering an answer so only she can hear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I promise I’ll do my best.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She gives a relieved sigh in response, making you see just how worried she’d truly been about Levi. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He doesn’t like to show it, but he overworks himself a lot. He needs to understand some things even he can’t fix. If he ever shuts himself off in his study, you have mine and Erwin’s full permission to blast down that door, consequences be damned. I’m glad you came into his and Eren’s lives, they both needed a friend.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A friend. Is that what you are? Can you even call yourself that already?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know if I lose a limb when he retaliates that’ll be on you, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hange lets out a melodic laugh, looking back at Levi who is curiously regarding you both from a corner of the room, likely wondering what it is you are talking about, blissfully unaware he is the topic of your conversation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I doubt he would harm a hair on your head. He may look like a grumpy old man, but he is truly a sweetheart on the inside.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You snort a little, not fully convinced by her words, but then you recall your earlier conversation with him once more, all the small ways he shows how much he cares, and end up laughing with her instead. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You may be right.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her arms tighten around you one last time before letting you go, patting your shoulder before turning to leave. She gestures over for Armin to follow her, making him cut his own goodbyes to Eren a bit short. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on, Arlert, we have some work to do!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her statement confirms your suspicions, all three masters will be having a talk with their apprentices tonight. Whatever they figured out as they sat down together, they will be able to share with you. Maybe they had to find a way of letting you know what they wanted without risking affecting their tie to the vow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You patiently wait until they are out the door, turning to the two men in the room once the sound of the visitors’ footsteps fades away. Eren is already cleaning up the area without having to be told, much more used to Levi’s tidiness than you are. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So. What is it?” You ask, crossing your arms. You haven’t been able to wave the mild annoyance at knowing you were supposed to be trained by now away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren flinches when he hears your voice, back freezing in the middle of picking up the cups left behind but Levi merely scrutinizes you with his gaze. He presses his lips into a thin line for only a second as he thinks, proceeding to nod towards the table once more. </span>
  <span>“Table. Both of you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren glances at you briefly before walking towards a chair and slumping down, crossing his arms as he awaits to hear what his master has to say.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s about the ball, isn’t it? This whole meeting the three of you had?” Eren murmurs as he looks down at the weathered wood. You can tell how exhausted he is as well from the disheveled look of his hair, the way his shoulders slump, and how he leans forward instead of his usual proud stance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi nods, allowing himself to collapse into the nearby chair. He must have been hiding his fatigue better than the two of you but then, he is used to doing so. Staying up late as dark thoughts clouded his mind was as normal to him as the sleepless nights.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He reaches up to unclasp his cape, having dressed up for the occasion. Not that he ever looked anything less than proper. It swishes to the ground with an airy sound, crumpling by his feet. You’ve noticed for all he cares about his appearance, he doesn’t seem to care much for any official garb, never minding where it falls. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What can you tell us?” you pry, knowing he has to be careful with his words. Maybe he wants you to ask?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not much,” he begrudgingly admits, rolling up his sleeves, “but enough to have you two be prepared. Eren, you will have a private meeting with the king before your vow. Viola, you may still be exempt from such an ordeal, the three of us are working on that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What will the meeting be about?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi winces, giving Eren a transparently pained look. That is a question he cannot answer. Knowing this, he moves on to a different one.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Royals and merchants will be present. They will try to sway both of you to their causes, you are under no obligation to heed their advances. If they say you are, they are lying and you can feel free to ignore them however, be sure to do so with tact. The disgusting pigs have power in court.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean by that? Sway us to their causes?” you ask. It is Eren who answers for him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“People from the nobility can appeal to the king to have a wizard assigned to their family. They give you food and lodging and, in exchange, you do their dirty work. It may be anything from making remedies for their kin to protecting them during their travels. It has become more unusual as the war goes on and wizards are required to stay and fight, but still happens when a powerful enough family asks.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You try to imagine a faceless person ordering you around, using you as a shield as they grow fatter from their riches as they look down on others. It makes your stomach turn more than working for the king does somehow. At least here you have Eren and Levi to share your time with.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Noted,” you exhale, hoping it never comes to that. “What did you mean by me being exempted?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi exhales loudly, running a hand through his hair. “I can’t-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“-answer that,” you interrupt. “I expected as much,” you respond. This vow is way more annoying than it seems. “It better not have anything to do with your stupid offer from the day before.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He narrows his eyes at you, mumbling a little about you being an ungrateful brat but you can tell he is relieved. Maybe he doesn’t want you to leave, after all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is there anything else you can tell us?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He reaches into his pocket, taking out a crumpled piece of paper you haven’t seen before, yet Eren’s eyes widen in recognition. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That is what Master Hange brought earlier today, isn’t it?” Eren leans forward, trying to catch a glimpse of whatever is written on top. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi nods, sliding the paper towards the two of you. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hange has good ideas every once in a while. This is one of them.” He tilts his head towards the ceiling, closing his eyes. Whatever they were discussing today left him more tired out than usual.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren picks it up, eyes scanning the contents with a frown.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A guest list? What does this have to do with anything?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi’s eyebrows furrow, mimicking Eren’s as he responds.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Figure it out. Read through it all. Anything unusual?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren picks it up once more, bringing the paper closer to his face as though that will make the contents easier to read. He scans the words, reading them again and then his green eyes widen in surprise. You notice him rapidly scan the paper again, mouth opening in concentration.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But… How? Why?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Care to enlighten me?” you ask, taking the paper from his hands. The list of names does not ring a bell to you. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren turns towards Levi, answering your question as he asks his own.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There has never been a Marley representative at our meetings before. Why now?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marley? As in the people you are fighting this war with?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi doesn’t answer, but he opens his eyes. Instead, he shrugs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We are not aware either. All we know is that a foreign royal will attend. The best we can do is be on our guard.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still failing to grasp the situation, you turn to Eren for answers, lifting a questioning eyebrow. He loosens the collar of his shirt, worried about the new piece of information as he turns to you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This can either be really good, or very bad. We have no way of knowing if it’s a diplomatic meeting meant to address peace or a trick on either of our sides for a secret attack. The fact that the foreign royal will be surrounded by court wizards makes it unlikely they will be unprepared. It also makes their attendance at all ludicrous. Something is going on.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Isn’t this good though? What if it is a negotiation of peace?” The words sound fake and naive even as they leave your mouth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This war has been going on for longer than you’ve been alive. Why would they try and settle their differences now? The uptick in crafter recruitment completely contradicts the wish for peace. If anything, it seems like a call to worsen the fights.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s doubtful. Several apprentices are taking the vow that day. Why make them go through the ordeal if they are thinking of stopping the conflict?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe to appease the common folk?” you guess, still unconvinced.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>People were tired of this war. It’s not an unreasonable thought that those on the opposite side are as well. Maybe their monarchs were more understanding than yours? The unforgiving answer materialized before Eren can answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No. People in power rarely trouble themselves with those below them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Unlikely. The more I think about it, the more it seems like a trap. The question is, from which side?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi watches the two of you talk, displeased at being unable to participate with his own thoughts. There was only so much he could say before the pain shot through his chest, poisoning his lungs. He’d had a very similar conversation with Erwin and Hange earlier, trying to reach a conclusion as to why something like this would ever be allowed to happen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hange had offered the possibility that the person coming to the ball was not actually a royal, but someone in disguise meaning to spy on your kingdom. However, why would the king allow that? Unless he was trying to have a fake display of camaraderie to appease the merchants urging him to solve the conflict before their materials got harder still to source.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Erwin, despite being the head of military heard nothing about the visitor either. His theory was that a secret attack may be in the works, but then while the king may be an idiot, he wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> stupid. They wouldn’t invite their enemy over to wine and dine only to expose themselves like that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Whatever the truth was, they were as blind to it as the rest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The only reason they even knew to be prepared was that Hange had happened to see a page going around with the guest list and had somehow convinced them to allow them to take a glance. They had written down as many names as they could into the copy that now laid in front of you all, despite having seen only the first page. For all they knew, the entire Marleyan royal family could show up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They’d been trying to figure out how to tell their respective apprentices, wondering just how much they could even say when she had suggested to give them a copy of the list. They hadn’t been explicitly forbidden from sharing documents they never should have had access to after all. Isabelle and Farlan had done something similar by letting Sasha and Connie know about the ball before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was a small step, a rebellious risk, but one they were all willing to take. They’d never admit it out loud for fear of the repercussions it could have not on their own bodies but on those of their mentees, but several wizards strived to find a way around the vow. Little by little, they had started to make progress, just like tonight. Nevertheless, even the small act had taken its toll.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Levi feels the heaviness in his lids increase, struggling to keep them open as he hears you two converse. The words are starting to mesh into each other, jumbling together into an incoherent blur as he fights his own body to stay upright. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There may have been no pain when he shared the list with you two, but the discomfort was present all the same, almost as if his own body recognized the betrayal. On top of it all, he had spent even more time awake than usual, trying to find a way of getting you out of taking the vow at all. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had been endlessly pouring over the documents he owned, trying to find any loopholes. You had yet to cast any spells, and that protected you from the filthy, slimy hands of the king. He was hoping to keep it that way for as long as he could. Levi may have failed to save Eren, but he could still save you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>These were the last thoughts he had as he finally gave in to his exhaustion, letting sleep claim him. He knew the nightmares would come, as always, but he welcomed them with open arms. He deserved them, after all. He knew he would never be able to pay back his debt to humanity, the lives he’d taken, but maybe he could lessen it a bit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He vaguely recognized your voice, calling out his name in a questioning tone, and then he fell asleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You close the door silently behind you, making sure the light under Eren’s door is still unlit before you proceed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The way down the stairs is taken with care, not wanting to make any noises to alert the wizard still passed out in the kitchen chair. He hadn’t budged since you both decided to go to bed, no closer to an answer than you had been when you first started to talk and you’d hate to deprive him of any more sleep. You knew how hard it was for him to rest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You quietly approach Levi, making sure his eyes remain closed, and then you carefully drape the handmade blanket you carry on his shoulders, tucking him in. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You had brought it with you, to remind you of home. It may not be much, but it is better than sleeping by the smothered embers of the fireplace, blanketed with nothing but the cold. Maybe it will help make his dreams more pleasant. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The bags under his eyes are more prominent than ever lately, darkening his delicate features as a frown remains on his troubled face. Even asleep, he looks worried, his furrowed brows hinting at sorrow instead of anger. What could he be seeing in his dreams to look so sad? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The memory of the pictures in his study surfaces, making you wonder if it's them he sees. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You press your hand against your side, resisting the urge to smooth out his frown with your fingertips as you’ve done for your sister before and sigh instead. It would be a bad idea to wake him up and have him question why you’re touching his face. He’d likely not appreciate the action based on his reaction when Hange tried to pat his hair. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And yet he went ahead and ruffled my own.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You roll your eyes, dismissing the intrusive thought as you turn to face the library, giving a last backward glance to his sleeping form before opening the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That is what you really came downstairs for.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You look around, trying to scan the titles around the crowded shelves to find something that may be of use. You’ve long since become acquainted with the multiple books and their comforting scent, but there must be something you missed before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Herbal remedies, spell casting, transfiguration. Their spines share their contents with you unashamedly, proudly speaking of their craft.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>On and on they go as they circle around the room, the thousands of pages creating a protective wall around you. There is only one shelf you haven’t gone through yet, and so you walk towards it, heart beating against your chest in the dull light of the moon seeping in through the lonely window.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Please have something useful</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You run your fingertips through their titles, urging them to share their secrets, one by one. The unspoken promise to read them some other time lies in the air as you ignore the topics you didn’t come here for, willing an answer to materialize with all your might, and then your breath catches.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>There you are. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A heavy book, bound in old leather with a beat-up spine. You can barely make out the carefully engraved words on its surface and yet you immediately </span>
  <em>
    <span>know. </span>
  </em>
  <span>This is what you came here for. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You take it back towards the table in the center of the room, placing it down while you flip the pages, and then the smile that had scarcely appeared on your face turns into a frown. It’s missing pages. Several in fact, perhaps hundreds.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They’ve been rudely ripped off their homes, jagged edges laying in their stead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Trying not to let it deter you, the pages continue to turn, speaking of the history of your kingdom. The first attack, its origin unknown, gone with the missing page. A long list of names of those who fought in the first war, abruptly ending halfway through. Depictions of battles with bodies scattered around the ground like butterflies without wings, eyes devoid of life as a crafter stands above them all. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The small pieces of the story jump around, jumbled and nonsensical yet helpful nonetheless. You press on, reading as you ignore the tears forming in the corner of your eyes from exhaustion. Scanning through stories about famous knights, sacrifices made by both sides, and then you finally reach it. The creation of the vow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You briefly glance behind your back, making sure no one has joined you, then you read around the weathered pages, making out what you can.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The very first wizard, and the very first king. The tale of how a young girl named Ymir was imprisoned as her power caught King Fritz’s eye. How she was used as a weapon against his enemies. Her blind devotion to her people, and the way she saw those she had trained change sides in the war. How she saw them grow selfish and kill the innocent, pushing her to make the ultimate sacrifice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She crossed the line into dark magic, claiming her humanity was holding her back from fighting against her former apprentices, saying she wanted to devote her body and soul to her people. She hoped her sins would be forgiven, or at least overlooked as long as others were safe. She locked herself up to better immerse herself into her work, refusing water and food until others were certain she was dead, and then she emerged victorious. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ymir knelt before the king, an empty look in her eyes, a wooden box in her hands. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She had succeeded in ripping out her own heart, enchanting it with an unbreakable obedience spell, begging the king to use her to save her people. All she asked was the protection of her current mentees, having grown weary of seeing them die.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He happily obliged, relishing in the control he was granted until the ritual was complete, and then he betrayed her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>King Fritz ordered his new slave to enchant all others, just like she had done for herself. He made her teach him how to repeat the process, cementing the bond in between ruler and wizards as one of slavery, then he sent them out to war, making them slaughter their former companions. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The people were horrified, fearful of those they had once admired, calling them heartless beasts as they shrunk from their cold, empty stares and hollow chests. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In an effort to appease both his terrified subjects and those he had doomed to a life of servitude, the king rewarded them extravagantly, painting their actions as those of heroes, making them rise in society as gods. It didn’t appease the apprentices who ended up rebelling against him, wanting their freedom back, but the damage had been done. Ymir watched from the sidelines as their hearts were crushed, one by one, turned into dust. She watched her friends crumple to the ground in pain, cursing the day they devoted themselves to her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The image in the book shows a weeping woman, small and young, kneeling in front of the king, likely begging for redemption. Beneath her, a pile of crafters.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The fear unfolds in your chest, making your heart beat faster and faster. You doubt the royals ever approved of this book, meaning it was made by crafters. How did Levi even get his hands on this?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The next pages are ripped out as well, hiding the aftermath, but a lone verse remains. A foreign tongue, one you vaguely recognize as the one falling from Levi and Eren’s lips as they fight. The title above it only labels it as a protection spell, not giving any further explanation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You run your fingers over the words, feeling the dread grow as you try to think over the things you’ve learned, and those you still don’t know. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>How does the vow even happen? Has it changed at all since the old days? Why is it still even a thing?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You close your eyes as you imagine Eren’s smiling face. Armin’s kind look and Mikasa’s determined gaze. A different set of eyes arises as well, the color of the moon, as bright as the stars. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Levi, what type of horrifying things have you been forced to do?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Any remainder of irritation you may have held towards him today fades, replaced with a mixture of sadness and pity. He was a prisoner of his power, a slave to his strength. Just like Hange. Just like Erwin. Just like you would be someday.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You force yourself to open your eyes, looking down at the book once more, and then you run your fingertip over the words. You frown as you concentrate, mouthing the words as you think of them all, unaware of the shiver that runs down your back as you whisper, too distracted by your thoughts, not noticing the tingle in your hand. The electricity shoots up your arm with a silent current, eager to taste your power, predatorily seizing you up. <br/></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A dark, red drop, almost the color of wine, falls on the page just as you feel the nausea hit, the world around you starting to spin. You bring up your hand to your nose in confusion, trying to stop the blood from staining anything else. You feel strangely afraid not for yourself, but for the cleanliness of this place even as you feel your knees buckle, not understanding what is happening. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your mind is confused, head heavy as the pain starts to run through your veins, a feeling of fire replacing your breath as every gulp of air scalds your lungs, suffocating you from the inside. You have never felt such pain before and it makes your vision blurry both with the fear and the silent stream of your tears. Your arms have gone completely numb, your feet replaced with heavy blocks of ice as the unbridled magic happily engulfs your body, excited for a new master. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You hear the sound of another drop, not knowing whether it is blood or tears fall and then you follow, barely feeling the ground as the pain inside of you overshadows anything else. The rapid sound of steps, the loud bang of a door being forced open, and then your consciousness fades. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi everyone! I hope you are all having an amazing Friday! The new chapter is here and it brought a few more questions with it. How are you all doing? Let me know what you all thought of the chapter and where it's all going! Hope you all enjoyed a little bit of Hange, Erwin, and the EMA trio in this one. <br/>Sending Levi head pats to you all &lt;3</p>
<p>Many many  MANY thanks to my amazing betas who make the flow of these chapters possible:<br/>char746 and Purple_Maknae7</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi all! I had this idea in my head for a bit and decided to finally give it a shot. This will not be updated as often as ABOBW since that is the main story I'm focusing on at the moment, but it will still get lots of love from me as a lengthy slow burn with tons of angst and fluff! I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know your thoughts, it makes me happy to read your comments! Tags may be edited as I go to fit the story better.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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